Do It Your Way – Birth That Is

In the past months I have become very aware of the deep notion in our birth culture, and yes even in the natural birth circles, that there are so many do it this way and don’t do it this way put upon women or she is wrong or not quite right.

The truth is, women do a variety of things in labor and birth. They do not all need the same education, need the same type of support, need to birth in the same type of location, or look the same during the process.

Women sometimes prefer:

  • Touch and movement
  • Solitude
  • Sound
  • Quiet
  • Bright light
  • Dim light or darkness
  • Smells
  • Lack of smell
  • To eat
  • To drink orally
  • Deep connection with those around her
  • To have direction and encouragement
  • To do it her own way with no outside input
  • To vocalize
  • To be inward
  • To have clinical assessment
  • To have no clinical input
  • To have a care provider
  • To be her own care provider
  • To catch her own baby
  • To have another person catch her baby
  • To be coached through labor and pushing
  • To physiologically push and deliver her baby
  • To have a doula present
  • To be totally alone
  • To have a crowd around her
  • To have it be very intimate
  • Birthing at home
  • Birthing at a birth center
  • Birthing at the hospital
  • and many, many things

It breaks my heart to see women beating up other women under the guise of being helpful.  Women are not plug in play in need of a prescription to make her do labor and birth right. We need to trust that women will do what is most beneficial in labor and birth when the space and opportunity is given to do so.

Bottom line: We need to stop making women feel badly for just doing what they want to do. We need to encourage women to trust their instincts. We need to continue to give women information on healthy birth. We need to not make it about US and let go of other women’s choices.

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2 Responses to “Do It Your Way – Birth That Is”

  1. Kailah says:

    So True!

    I like: Touch, peace, to vocalize (aka to growl and yell and be a defiant 2 year old, lol), to be at home with a midwife, to have a few select people around me, to be in the water, to catch my babies. 😀

  2. Excellent list and very well said, especially the bottom line.