Preparing for Birth is having an online scavenger hunt to ring in December.

You could win this cute pocket diaper.

Here is the scavenger hunt:

Answer:

1)      How many births has Desirre Andrews attended?

2)      Name a doula that is working through Preparing For Birth?

3)      How many on average gel capped pills can be made from a placenta?

4)      What breast pump brand does Preparing for Birth have for sale?

Answer these and provide a link to the source:  

5)      What is the most common risk of induction?

6)      What is an evidence based reason for induction?

7)      What is the Bishop Score used for?

8)      What are Daniel Berwick’s three principals of patient centered care?

Find:

9)      A picture of a child nursing in a funny position.

10)   A picture of artwork that’s at least 100 years old depicting a woman in labor.

Bonus Questions:

1)      What is your favorite pregnancy or childbirth related blog?

2)      What is your favorite pregnancy or childbirth related book?

Send your entry to nichole@prepforbirth.com by 9pm Wednesday December 5th.

The winner will be announced Thursday, December 6, 2012, and must be able to pick up the prize in person. Everyone who enters will get a coupon for a free birth or postpartum plan session with one of the doulas from Preparing For Birth.

I have been thinking on the F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) acronym.  What else can it mean? Fear itself can be a positive or a negative. Fear can be a stumbling block or a motivator.

I enjoy coming up with affirmations and words that alter the view especially as it relates to pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. I have been and know so many who have fear thrust upon them by friends, provider, family, strangers or have deep fear from previous experiences or from the unknown lurking ahead.

Take my words, come up with others and make your own acronyms to work with the FEAR surrounding you, inside you and take away its power.

F                      E                     A                     R

Feeling, Freedom, Fix, Fire, Fierce, Forge, Find, Fortitude, Frame, Fight, Force, Free, Forever, Forgive, Feel, Fearless

Everything, Exist, Eradicate, Excite, Envelop, Empowered, Encourage, Enhance, Expectation, Effort, Exquisite, Endearing, Encourage, Enhance, Effort, Expectation, Exquisite, Equal, Excel, Expert, Ease, Engage

Admit, And, Am, Advocate, Amplify, Armed, Above, Answer, Awareness, Act, Assist, Attitude, Ally, Appear, Admire, Ask, Alter, Apprehension, Action, Alive

Rest, Respect, Rise, Release, Rage, Rights, Ready, Resonate, Relief, Repair, Rely, Resist, Rejoice, Roar, Risk, Release, Re-frame, Rephrase, Remain

Please share additional words you come up with!

A birth plan has more than one purpose. It begins as a value clarification exercise, then becomes a communication tool with your care provider and ultimately a guide of needs and desires during labor, delivery and postpartum. Even if your birth location does not ask for birth plans, it is a good idea to write one for your own benefit.

Step 1

Clarifying your needs, wants and desires. Here are the  Birth Menu of Options and Assessing Your Feelings we use in class  to begin the value clarification process.  The birth menu is most helpful when you begin by crossing out what you are not interested in, highlighting the items you know you want and circling what you need to research. The AYF worksheet is for you and your husband/partner/non-doula labor support person to go over together to ensure you are on the same page and open up conversation. Doing this prior to 35 weeks of pregnancy gives you more time to coordinate with your care provider or birth location. If you have a doula or are taking a childbirth class, she/he can help you in this part of the process as well.

Step 2

Write down in order of labor, delivery, immediate postpartum and in case of cesarean needs and desires. Your plan really needs to be within one typed page for easy reading and digesting by care provider and staff. The only items that must be listed are care options that are outside of usual practices, protocols or standing orders. Here is the Sample Low Intervention Birth Plan we use to help you see a finished format and types of pertinent information that may be necessary to list.

Step 3

Take your written plan into your care provider. This is a conversation starter, a beginning, a partnering tool. As I encouraged above, early to mid 3rd trimester gives you more flexibility in communicating with your provider and setting your plan in motion. It also gives you opportunity to change providers or birth location if you cannot reach a comfortable agreement.

Step 4

Make any changes.Finalize.  Print out final copy.  Give one to care provider, have one in your bag for labor and birth, give one to doula (if you hired one). Though this is not a binding or legal agreement it can go a long way toward the type of care and birth you want.

Step 5

Gestate peacefully until labor begins!

A birth plan has a few real purposes. It can act as a values clarification exercise for you and your partner. Then it is a vehicle to open communication with your care provider about your needs, desires, wants for labor, birth and postpartum.  What you want and need matters.

 A brief one page plan with an opening paragraph with bullet point information specific to individualized care and desires not usually within your care provider’s standing orders or usual protocols of the birth location.

I advise you take the written birth plan to a prenatal visit at least a month prior to your given estimated due date. This gives time for conversation, to have a clear understanding of expectation and agreement.

If it becomes apparent that you and your provider are not on the same page, you then have time to seek out another provider that fits you and you fit with.

Remember it is not a legal document that your location of delivery or care provider must adhere to.

=======================================================

Birth Needs and Desires for: _______________________. 

Care Provider:_________________.

Estimated Due Date: _________________.

I am planning on a no to low-intervention labor and delivery.  I plan on being mobile, lightly snacking, drinking orally, and having ___________ present.   I understand that intermittent monitoring of me and my baby will be necessary.  I want to be fully consented for any procedure that may come up and fully participate in the medical care for myself and my baby.  I understand that there is pain management available to me, I will ask for it if I so desire.

• I plan on wearing my own clothing. I will ask for a gown if I change my mind.
• I would like a saline lock in lieu of a running IV.
• Limited vaginal exams after initial assessment.
• In the event an induction and/or augmentation is medically necessitated-
  • Ripening – Foley Catheter instead of Cytotec (misoprostol), Cervadil or Prepadil
  • Pitocin – A very gentle and slowly administered dosage increase.
  • AROM – will only consent to if an internal fetal monitor is a must.
• Spontaneous pushing and delivery in any position I am most comfortable with.
• External pressure and/or compresses instead of any perineal or vaginal stretching.
• No cord traction or aggressive placental detachment, including deep uterine massage.
• Delayed cord clamping for at least 10 minutes or until my placenta spontaneously detaches (baby can receive oxygen or other assistance while still attached to me).

Postpartum and Baby Care

• Request that my baby is on my belly or chest for assessments and warmth (even oxygen can be given on me)
• Delayed bathing
• Delaying vaccinations including eye ointment and vitamin k.
• Exclusive breastfeeding, no pacifiers, sugar water, or formula. I will hand express if necessary. I will hand express if needed to syringe feed my baby.
• No separation from me unless absolutely medically necessary not just protocol.

Cesarean: In the event a cesarean becomes necessary and is not a true emergency requiring general anesthesia.  I would like to keep the spirit of my plan A to plan C so the delivery can be as family centered and intimate as possible.

• Only essential conversation related to the surgery and delivery
• Lower sterile drape or have a mirror present so I may see my baby emerge
• Only one arm strapped down so I may touch my baby
• Pictures
• Aromatherapy as I desire for comfort, abate nausea and to mask surgical odors
• Baby to stay with me continuously in OR and recovery
• If baby must leave OR for treatment, my partner/spouse goes with baby and I would like my ____________ to stay with me so I am never alone.
• Breastfeed in OR and/or recovery
• Delayed immunizations
• Delayed washing and dressing of baby
• No separation from me except what is absolutely medically necessary
• I am willing to hand express if baby cannot get to breast right away.

This “plan” may be copied, pasted and edited  for use by others.

Interview Questions

•  Why are you a midwife?
•  What is your training? Are you certified? If yes, with whom and why? If no, why not?
•  Are you licensed in the state of _____?
•  What is your scope of practice?
•  Are there any circumstances (physical, emotional, and/or spiritual) would you not take a woman as a patient?
•  When would you risk out a patient?
•  What is your style of practice (laid back, hands on, managing)?
•  How much time will be spent with me during each appointment? Do you come to my home or do I come to your office?
•  At what intervals will you see me during pregnancy?
•  What can I expect at a prenatal visit?
•  What routine tests are utilized during pregnancy? What if I decline these tests?
•  What herbs or supplements do you like your patients taking during pregnancy?
• At what point in labor do you normally arrive?
• What positions are you comfortable catching in? Birth stool? Hand/Knees? Squatting? Standing? Water?
• What does your cord clamping protocol look like?
•  What do you do in the event a complication arises during labor or birth?
• When would you transfer a patient?
• What percentage of your patients do you transfer to the hospital? Cesarean rate?
•  How are post-dates (post-42 weeks) handled in your practice?
•  Do you ever encourage induction by pharmaceutical, herbal, AROM or other natural means? If yes, please describe.
• What does postpartum care look like for me and my baby?
• Do you have a midwifery student or an assistant that attends births with you? If so, what is her role?
•  Who would attend me if you are ill, had an emergency or are at another birth?
•  Briefly please describe the types of births you are most and least experienced with.
• What if I hire a doula? Are there restrictions on the doula I may hire? If yes, why? What is your perception of the role of a doula at a home birth?
• Do you have a back-up physician?
• What do your fees cover?
• Do you take any insurances?
• Should I take childbirth education classes? Do you recommend any? What do you cover?

Points to ponder afterward:

• Did you feel immediately comfortable and heard at the interview?
• Was MW willing to answer questions in detail without being annoyed?
• Are you comfortable with her scope of practice?
• Are her expectations of you reasonable?
• Are your expectations of her reasonable?
• Are you able to take full responsibility for your decisions with this midwife?

All Rights Reserved Desirre Andrews Preparing For Birth 2011

For first time mamas, previously induced mamas or those who have loads of prodromal labor, getting a handle on the nuances of when labor is going to start or if it is lasting labor can be really confusing. There is no way to know exactly when labor is going to start, but there are many things to look out for that can give clues and signs that onset of  labor is sooner rather than later.

Here are my favorite categories to look at and simple ways to decipher what is going on with your body at the end of pregnancy.

Remember to take a look at the whole puzzle picture not just one piece.

• Vaginal Discharge:

• Loss of mucous plug (after 38 weeks);
• Steady mucousy output;
• Thin and watery mucous;
• Blood tinged – similar to the beginning or very end of a menstrual period. This means there is effacement and ripening of the cervix going on and even a bit of dilation happening.
• Contraction Characteristics:
• Longer and more intense contractions that most often find a pattern;
• They do not stop or even increase with activity change;
• Sudden increase or onset of regular Braxton-Hicks;
• Low period crampiness, pelvic heaviness, off and on backache, thigh achiness.
• Other symptoms
• Increased nesting;
• Insomnia or excessive tiredness;
•  Flu-like symptoms;
• Intuition/Instinct;
• Loose bowels;
• Weight Loss in the last week.

• Testing out contractions for possible labor:
• Change activity level – if resting get up and move, if moving sit down and rest;
• Drink a large glass of water;
•  Eat a snack, preferably higher protein;
• Take a bath or shower.

After doing these things if contractions continue and increase in intensity over another hour or so likely labor is becoming established. Congratulation! As always, contact your care provider at the agreed upon time.

Building a labor support team is part of conscious preparation during pregnancy for your labor,  birth and life with the very newborn. Hiring a labor doula continues to gain in popularity for the expecting family. Your doula comes alongside you in pregnancy through labor and delivery with some additional early postpartum follow-up.  For additional after birth support, a postpartum doula is a great addition.

Step 1: Finding a Doula

• Inquire with friends, family, local support/informational groups (for example – ICAN, LLLI, Birth Network, Birth Circle, Cloth Diaper store), childbirth educators, care providers, prenatal massage therapists, prenatal exercise instructors, lactation experts and chiropractors for referrals.
• Use your favorite search engine and type in your city or area name with the keyword doula
• Search training and certifying organizations such as CAPPA, DONA, ICEA,  ToLabor , Birth Works and Birth Arts International
• Search general doula sites such as All Doulas, Doulas.com, About.com, Doula Match or Doula.com

Step 2: First Contact

Once you have located local area doulas, the next step is  to make contact. You will likely find that most doulas are women though occasionally you will find a male doula in your area.  After visiting any websites; phone or email only the doulas that most interest you and fit your particular needs.  Generally there is not much need to contact more than three perspective doulas.

During your initial phone conversation or in your email be sure to include:

• Full name
• Contact information
• Estimated Due Date
• General location where you live
• Care Provider
• Birth Location
• Top needs and desires for birth
• If referred, by whom
• Any financial considerations

Step 3:  Setting up the Interview

I encourage after the phone or email contact and response, set-up in-person interviews with the doulas you found most compatible with you.

• Unless the doula you are meeting has her own office, interviews are usually held in a public place such as a coffee house, restaurant, library, park, or shopping center. If you meet at a place where beverages or food will be ordered you can offer to pick up the tab for everyone if you desire, but it is never expected.
• Your partner, husband or other support who will be attending the birth needs to be at in-person interview if at all possible.
• Expect the interview to be approximately an hour and to be free of charge.

Step 4: The Interview

The interview is to gain more detailed information from the doula, as well as, share more  about yourself and what you want.  It is customary for the doula to either email ahead of time her client packet or bring it with her to the interview. It may include her professional profile, client agreement, services, and support details, as well as, additional offerings.

Suggested Interview Questions:

• Why are you a doula?
• What is your philosophy of childbirth?
• Where did you get your training?
• Are you certified? Why or why not?
• How long have you been a doula?
• What is your scope of practice?
• What types of births have you participated in?
• What types of birth locations have you been to?
• How many births per month on average do you attend?
• How many clients would max you out in a month?
• Have you ever missed a birth? Please explain why.
• Do you specialize in working with a specific type of clientele or birth plan?
• What has been the most challenging birth you have attended? Why?
• How do you work with my husband/partner/other support?
• Have you worked with my provider before? If yes, please describe the experience.
• How many prenatal visits would there be?
• In general, what is covered in the prenatal visits?
• Will you help me make a birth plan?
• Please explain how your fee is structured.
• Do you accept barter?
• Do you have a back-up and do I meet her ahead of time?
• When do you go on-call?
• Do you labor at home with me?
• What do you do if I am induced or need to schedule a cesarean?
• When will you see me postpartum and what does it include?
• What are your expectations of me as a client?
• How long do I have to decide before you would contract with someone else around my EDD?

Of course that is a fairly long list of overview questions. Brainstorm some of your own. The interview is not meant to be a free prenatal visit, it is simply to find out if you and the doula are a fit personality wise and in how she practices.  Most doulas do not expect to be hired on the spot. You  need time to think and process after each interview. If a doula is pressuring you to hire on the spot because she fills so quickly, that could be a red flag and cause for you to take a pause.

Step 5: Hiring the Doula

Within 1-2 weeks,  contact the doula you would like to hire and proceed and those you did not choose to let them know you have hired someone else so they will not be holding your EDD space open any longer.

Details to be clear about when initially hiring your doula:

• Sign and return the agreement/contract she gave you at the interview (if applicable).
• Return any intake paperwork by mail or email.
• Payment  – First portion of fee is usually paid upon hiring a doula.
• Ask her usual business hours and contact preference for non-emergencies or labor related needs.
• Let her know your contact preferences and all phone numbers to reach you and your spouse/partner or other support.
• Set the date and time for the first prenatal appointment. Give her directions if your home is not easy to find.
• Get clarity on what routine contact she would like from you (updates after care provider appointments, etc.)

Happy doula-ing!

Being an active participant in your pregnancy and birth journey begins with choosing your provider. You can begin the search for the right provider fit prior to becoming pregnant, in early pregnancy or anytime before your baby is born. So much of how your pregnancy and birth unfold are directly related to your care provider so this is really a key element. Every provider is not the right fit for every mother and vice verse. If you already have an established provider relationship, these questions can be used as a re-interview tool.

When asking these questions, take care to really listen to the answers. If a provider will not meet with you prior to you becoming a patient, that can be a red flag.

______________________________________________________________________

Begin by expressing your overall idea of what your best pregnancy, labor and birth looks like to provider.

• What are your core beliefs, training, experience surrounding pregnancy and birth?
• Why did you choose this line of work?
• What sets you apart from other maternity providers?
• How can you help me attain my vision for pregnancy, labor and birth?
• If I have a question, will you answer over the phone, by email or other avenue outside of prenatal appointments?
• How much time will you spend with me during each appointment?
• What routine tests are utilized during pregnancy? What if I decline these tests?
• What is the average birth experience of first time mothers in your practice?
• How do you approach the due date? What do you consider full term and when would I be considered overdue?
• What are your patient intervention rates? (IV, AROM, continuous monitoring, episiotomy, etc.) Cesarean rate? VBAC rate? Induction rate? What induction methods are used? When are forceps/vacuum used? These numbers are tracked.
• What positions are you comfortable catching in? Birth stool? Hand/Knees? Squatting? Standing? Water? How often do patients deliver in positions other than reclined or McRoberts positions?
• How do you feel about me having a birth plan?
• What if I hire a doula? Do you have an interest in who I work with or restrictions? If yes, why?
• Do you have an opinion on the type of childbirth or breastfeeding class I take? If so, what and why?
• Are you part of on call rotation or do you attend your own  overall? Will the back-up or on-call CP honor the requests we have agreed on?
• Are there any protocols that are non-negotiable? If you cannot refuse – you are not consenting.
• What if I choose to decline a recommended procedure or intervention in labor or post birth, how will that be viewed?
• When will I see you during labor?
• What postpartum care or support do you offer?
• Will I be able to get questions answered or be seen before the 6 week postpartum visit?

Points to ponder afterward:

• Did you feel immediately comfortable and respected at the interview? If already with a CP, do you feel comfortable, respected and heard at each appointment?
• Were there red flags or white flags?
• Was or is care provider willing to answer questions in detail without being annoyed?
• Is choosing your care provider based on your insurance or lack of insurance?
• What are you willing to do in order to have the birth you really desire? Birth location?
• How much responsibility are you willing to take for the health care decisions for you and your baby?

Blessing the mother ease the period at the end of pregnancy and ease the transition into postpartum.

Ideas that bless before and after birth:

• Freezer Meals
• Organizing Fresh Meals for end of pregnancy through first month post birth.
• Buy baby wearing gear for her.
• Organize a Blessingway
• Write down encouraging and affirming words in a beautiful card.
• Listen to her.
• Buy her a baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding class, etc. to her desires as a surprise.
• Organize housecleaning party for end of pregnancy and once or twice postpartum.
• If she has other children, have them over to give her a rest.
• Donate toward her doula, midwife or doctor.
• When she is postpartum, visit her and prepare a variety of snacks so she is never without food.
• Offer to run errands after the baby is born.
• Offer to give her time to shower.
• Buy her a reusable water bottle so she drinks enough fluids.
• Give her permission to phone you during odd hours after the birth if she needs support, advice.
• Offer to dog sit or take care of any pets as needed after the birth.
• Check in on her about 3 weeks after birth to see how she is doing emotionally and physically.

What other ideas do you have to add? Please leave me a comment.

Cesarean is often the last thing we want to think about during pregnancy. Most of us think it will not happen to us. Having a plan, an idea of what to ask for, to know there are ways to bridge the gap between Plan A and Plan C can be very beneficial to both mother and baby.

There is no way to make a cesarean just like a healthy vaginal birth, and frankly, that ought not be the goal. It can be however a much more family centered, family bonded, more respectful and humane experience.

Speak to your provider ahead of time about needs and desires. If you know you are having a cesarean ahead of time, meeting with the Nurse Manager and the anesthesiology department can be useful in obtaining what you want. Have the conversations, create partnerships.

Below is my latest version of a family centered cesarean plan  that can be used for a planned or unplanned cesarean delivery. All requests may not be feasible in all areas, but even small changes can be helpful.

It may be copied and pasted into your own document for personalization, however I do ask that you credit the source if you are an educator, doula or related professional using it as a sample.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Name: Jane Doe

Estimated Due Date: January 1, 20XX

Care Provider: XXXXXX

We are seeking to make a cesarean delivery as special, low stress and family centered as possible.In the event a true emergency and general anesthesia is needed, I understand that some of my requests cannot be honored.

JUST PRIOR TO/DURING DELIVERY / RECOVERY –

• I would like to meet each staff member in the OR by name who will be participating in the cesarean.
• I may ask my _________ for aromatherapy to help with nausea, surgical smells and stress.
• I ask that only essential conversation be allowed.
• I would like to play ______ music in the OR if it won’t be a distraction to those performing surgery.
• I would like my ______________ to take photos and/or video of the birth of my baby.  I respect that the surgeon and anesthesiologist may not want the entire surgery on video, however I would like a record of my baby being born to make it as special and personal as possible.
• Explain all medications that will be used to me. I prefer a bolus and oral medications versus a PCA afterward.
• Please lower the drape so I may view my baby coming out of me and hold my baby up so I can see him/her at the moment of birth.
• Request my arms not be strapped down so I may touch my baby freely.
• I would like my baby to remain connected to the placenta after manual extraction, as the cord will continue to pulsate for some time. I would like my ___________ to cut the cord after 10 minutes post delivery or the cord has stopped pulsating near the umbilicus.
• I would like my baby placed skin to skin on my chest immediately with basic assessments being done while on me. My husband (partner/family member can hold baby there with a warm blanket over my baby and help maintain the sterile field.
• I would like to breastfeed in the OR or as soon as possible in recovery.
• I would like for my ________________ and baby to stay in the OR with me while surgery is completed and remain in recovery with me.
• If the baby needs medical assistance requiring leaving the OR, I’d like for another person (doula, friend or family member) to attend me in the OR while my ___________________ goes with the baby, so my baby nor I will have to be alone.
• In the event baby needs to leave the OR, I would like the wipe down towel(s) to be placed against my chest skin and baby to be pressed on me for fluid and odor transfer.
• Asking for a delay in eye ointment and Vitamin K until after the first hour of bonding time or I am waiving all immunizations and eye ointment.
• In the event of a hysterectomy, please do not remove my ovaries or anything else that is not medically necessary

REGARDING BABY

• In the event the baby requires medical attention beyond that of a healthy baby, please inform me (husband/partner/family member) verbally what is needed or will be needed so I can actively participate in choices made for my baby’s care.
• In the event of  a need for separation of my baby from me:
  • Limit the number of persons who touch or attend my baby to only those on staff as needed and my _____________.
  • Request my baby not be bathed or fully dressed until I have the opportunity to smell, touch, cuddle, etc. with my baby and I am able to participate in the bathing.
  • I plan to breastfeed exclusively, so no pacifier, formula, sugar water should be given to my baby.
• No tests shall be performed or medications administered, etc. without my ________________ consent & prior knowledge

Thank you for honoring my requests for me and my baby.

Preparing For Birth, LLC

All Rights Reserved 2011

Knowing your Bishop’s score prior to agreeing to an induction when not medically necessary or setting the stage for a medically necessary induction can make a great difference in expectations, additional interventions and understanding for the process as a whole.  Knowing your score can help you determine the type of induction or whether or not to be induced at all.
Your score is based on a vaginal exam that takes into consideration the areas listed in the chart below.

Dilation, Effacement, Consistency and Position all have to do with your cervix. Station is telling where the presenting part of baby is in relation to the ischial spines. (sitz bones).

Additional links and information on induction can be found in this previous post http://prepforbirth.com/2009/08/12/preparing-for-labor-induction/.

A birth plan is designed to facilitate communication between you and your provider, especially necessary if you are  birthing outside the home environment.  Secondly, it is to offer information on the individualized care you as the mother would like during labor, birth and immediately postpartum for you and your baby.

It should be brief (no more than one page) and only have the bullet point information that is specific to individualized care and desires not usually within your care provider’s standing orders or usual protocols of the birth location.

It is important to take a written birth plan to a prenatal visit at least a month prior to your given estimated due date in order to have a clear understanding of expectation and agreement. If it becomes apparent that you and your provider are not on the same page, this gives can give time to seek out another provider that fits you and you fit with. Remember it is not a legal document that your location of delivery or care provider must adhere to.

 =======================================================

Birth Needs and Desires for: _______________________. 

Care Provider:_________________.

Estimated Due Date: _________________.

Labor

I am planning on a no to low-intervention natural birth.  I plan on being mobile, lightly snacking, drinking orally, and having ___________ present.   I understand that intermittent monitoring of me and my baby will be necessary.  I want to be fully consented for any procedure that may come up and fully participate in the medical care for myself and my baby.  I understand that there is pain management available to me, I will ask for it if I so desire.

• I plan on wearing my own clothing. I will ask for a gown if I change my mind.
• I would like a saline lock in lieu of a running IV.
• Limited vaginal exams after initial assessment.
• In the event an induction and/or augmentation is medically necessitated-
  • Ripening – Foley Catheter instead of Cytotec (misoprostol), Cervadil or Prepadil
  • Pitocin – A very gentle and slowly administered dosage increase.
  • AROM – will only consent to if an internal fetal monitor is a must.
• Spontaneous pushing and delivery in any position I am most comfortable with.
• No cord traction or aggressive placental detachment, including deep uterine massage.
• Delayed cord clamping for at least 10 minutes or until my placenta spontaneously detaches (baby can receive oxygen or other assistance while still attached to me).

Postpartum and Baby Care

• Request that my baby is on my belly or chest for assessments and warmth (even oxygen can be given on me)
• Delayed bathing
• Delaying vaccinations including eye ointment and vitamin k.
• Exclusive breastfeeding, no pacifiers, sugar water, or formula. I will hand express if necessary.
• No separation from me unless absolutely medically necessary not just protocol.

Cesarean: In the event a cesarean becomes necessary and is not a true emergency requiring general anesthesia.  I would like to keep the spirit of my plan A to plan C so the delivery can be as family centered and intimate as possible.

• Only essential conversation related to the surgery and delivery
• Lower sterile drape or have a mirror present so I may see my baby emerge
• Only one arm strapped down so I may touch my baby
• Pictures
• Aromatherapy as I desire for comfort, abate nausea and to mask surgical odors
• Baby to stay with me continuously in OR and recovery
• If baby must leave OR for treatment, my partner/spouse goes with baby and I would like my ____________ to stay with me so I am never alone.
• Breastfeed in OR and/or recovery
• Delayed immunizations
• Delayed washing and dressing of baby
• No separation from me except what is absolutely medically necessary

This “plan” may be copied, pasted and edited  for use by others.

It has occurred to me through my time with doula clients and students,  that many care providers serving hospital birthing mothers do not ask any questions of their pregnant patients during the 7-10 minute prenatal visits that lead to a substantive working relationship.

I have also learned that too often the pregnant “patient” does not know to tell her provider anything about what is going on in her life or pregnancy since she is not queried first.

Thinking there must be a way to better bridge this very real separation to solid patient-provider relationship building, I am drawing from my work as a midwife assistant in the making of this tip list.

Pregnant mothers your provider needs to know so much more about you and your pregnancy than blood pressure, weight, fundal height and fetal heart tones. I encourage you to freely offer the below information at every appointment to grow personalized care, advisement and support.

1) Appetite/Diet/Supplements – tell your provider if your appetite has increased or decreased between visits. Do you have food aversions? Are you taking any supplements or want to take supplements?

2) Sleep habits – tell your provider how you are or are not sleeping.  For example, are you having trouble falling asleep, falling back to sleep or staying asleep.

3) Nausea – Do you continue to have nausea? When? How often? Does it correlate with anything in particular?

4) Hemorrhoids – if you have them or not. What you are doing for them.

5) Varicose veins -  Are there veins sticking out or causing issue anywhere in your body?

6) Bowel habits – Are you experiencing normal or abnormal bowel habits?

7) Exercise – What have you been doing? Do changes need to be made?

8) Stress – Is there anything in your life that is really stressing you? Stress can impact pregnancy health. Important to discuss.

9) Related Providers – Are you going to any pregnancy related providers (such as chiropractor, acupuncturist, yoga, etc.)?

10) General  – Are you feeling well or not. Do you need more information or referrals?

There is so much more to you than a pregnant uterus. You are a holistic person who needs to be treated as such. I would venture that something much more individualized can come out of your care with simple sharing!

Here’s to whole care!

I am so thankful to all of the submissions I received for this Why I am Grateful for my Birth(s) blog carnival. I have found no matter what a woman can learn something and be grateful for something in every birth experience no matter how difficult or wonderful. Enjoy these quips and please go to their blogs to read in completeness.

Tiffany Miller of Birth In Joy says in an excerpt from her post The Most Important Piece, “I am thankful that Mom believed in my ability to breastfeed my new baby, even though it hurt at first. She never told me that I had so severely damaged her nipples, as she tried to learn with no support whatsoever during my own newborn days. Nary an ounce of bitterness did she carry from that time. She knew and accepted that my path was my own, and supported me completely.” She goes on to further outline how the mentoring and support of her mother paved her way.

How grateful she is for all four natural births and her mother’s unwavering assistance. Assistance and presence she could never imagine doing without.  Just beautiful and shows how important in our lives are the ones who came before.

Kristen Oganowski of Birthing Beautiful Ideas in her post Your Births Brought Me Here writes this gorgeous, tear inspiring letter to her two children about what amazing changes they spurned in her own life, in the very life that they would come to know. Without one birth, would the other have come along the way it did?

Here is an excerpt: “When you both were born, I called myself: Graduate student (unhappily).  Teacher (happily).  Feminist (always).  Mother (timidly). Today I call myself: Doula (happily).  Birth and breastfeeding advocate (unflinchingly).  Blogger (smirkingly).  Writer (finally).  Feminist (permanently).  Mother (confidently).  Graduate student (temporarily). Your births brought me here, to this place where I am (finally) content and impassioned. All wrapped up  with a Love, Mom.

Our next post is by Sheridan Ripley of Enjoy Birth. She writes very plainly about how grateful she is for varied experiences that give her insight to what other women experience and that she is better able to support them.

Here is a peek.

• If I had only amazing natural birth experiences would I have judged those moms who choose epidurals?
• If I had only vaginal births would I have understood and fought so hard for VBAC moms?
• If I only had easy times creating that nursing relationship with my boys, would I have been as supportive of my moms struggling with nursing?

Very poignant and open…..

We come to Bess Bedell of MommasMakeMilk.Com came to a place of self-awareness, peace and a fierceness to help others in her experiences. Like others her heart grew and expanded with her own knowledge and walk. A strength and confidence awoke in her to the benefit of so many coming after.

My two births birthed a new women. A mature women who has opinions, knowledge, experience and a passion in life. If I had not had my c-section I may never had given VBAC a second though. The lack of VBAC support and availability would probably never have entered my radar. My second birth showed me that success and perfection are not the same but both are wonderful and I can be happy for and embrace a mother and her experience even if it wasn’t a completely natural, completely med-free birth. Both of my experience have prepared me for the future. My future of birthing, and next time I plan on birthing at home, and my future of educating and supporting pregnant and birthing mothers.

And lastly my own blog post entry. I know I rarely speak of my own births in any detail unless it is one on one. As a community member, advocate, doula, educator, I strive NEVER to be an intervention on a woman. Today I decided to give a small window into my own experiences and why I am grateful. Please read and comment freely – Grateful For My Births.

Thank you so much to those who submitted posts. The openness of other women allow all of us to learn, grow and share as we are meant to within a healthy society. We are not there yet, but I have a hope that through this sort of connection, we are healing some brokenness.

In reading all these posts, not one is the same, not in tone or style, but every woman was changed positively in the end.

I sit here and ponder Why childbirth education is important?. I am an educator because I think it can be a vital piece to the preparation puzzle prior to welcoming a baby.  I use the word “can” versus “is” due to the fact that all educational offerings are not created equally.

It is known that only a percentage of expecting mothers attend a childbirth class series. Perhaps they believe the staff will explain everything when they get to the hospital, they really have a deep trust in the process and are reading up on everything, or since they are having a home birth that additional education is unneeded. Whatever the reason, women are not getting the foundational information that can be incredibly helpful toward confidence, ability, decision making and mothering far beyond the birth itself.

A good childbirth class series (or rather perinatal class) is well worth the monetary and time investment for most first time mothers and can benefit those who have already birthed.  My post on choosing a childbirth class is a good jumping off point to figuring out what type of course suits the individual expecting mother (her partner or labor support).

A class series worth the time and effort will be comprehensive in nature, not just covering labor and birth. What does that look like? A class that covers midway third trimester pregnancy through 4-8 weeks postpartum. It is content that is deep and is applicable to real life.

A sample of course content:

• Pregnancy Basics
• Common Terminology
• Normal Physiologic Changes and “helps”
• Exercise
• Nutrition
• Prenatal Testing
• Birth Plans
• Informed Consent
• Communication and Self-Advocacy Skill Building
• Overview of spontaneous Labor and Birth
• Labor milestones with Comfort and Positioning Strategies
• Overview of all Options in Labor, Birth and Postpartum
• Labor Partner Role
• Immediate Postpartum
• Navigating first weeks Postpartum
• Overview of Infant Feeding and Norms
• Bonding
• Medications and Interventions
• Cesarean and VBAC
• Unexpected Events
• Role-playing Scenarios
• Relaxation and Visualization Practice
• Local/Online Resources

How the educator reaches her class is fundamental to the learning process and take away of participants.  I encourage women to interview the potential educator. Finding the right fit in a class is no different that in provider, doula or birth location.

Even if a woman knows she wants an epidural, TAKING A GOOD CLASS is vital because she will be having a natural birth the epidural is on board and her Plan B could very well be a natural birth. Being prepared will only serve her well in the fluid process known as labor and delivery.

Gaining knowledge that will help a woman to partner with her provider, address her own needs fully and help her to define her own birth philosophy gives her a leg up on being responsible and in charge in her own health care and even outcomes.

The vast scope of what a solid class series can offer an expecting mother (her partner or support person) is incredibly valuable and can not be understated. A class that provides for encouragement, comfort, safety, respect, connection, structure, evidence-based information and real life application can plant seeds and prosper skills that will carry a woman well into her mothering years. These skills are for life, not just for labor and birth. I am stunned often by how birthing knowledge carries me in daily ability with my own family.

Here’s to happy and deep learning!

Being a childbirth (perinatal) educator is a position that affords great opportunity to positively influence women in the childbearing year and far beyond.  It is also a great responsibility that ought include: self-assessment, continuing education, evidence-based curriculum, the ability inform with discernment and the willingness not to teach a good patient course.

With all of this in mind, it is important that pregnant women choose their childbirth class wisely. There is not any one-size-fits-all class.

How does one go about choosing a childbirth class? I encourage you to go about choosing a class series in the same way you would choose a provider or birth location. Do some investigating and even interview the educator.

Off to a good search:

• Get referrals from women who have had or wanted the type of birth you are desiring.
• Check out your local birth groups and get referrals.
• Ask your provider for a referral.
• Do a web search for classes in your area. You may be surprised that there are many offerings method and philosophy based outside and within the hospital setting.
• If thinking about a hospital sponsored course, find out if it is a comprehensive series or a what happens to women once they get to our hospital class? This is otherwise known as a good patient class.
• Check out the course website then call or email the instructor to get a feel for her style and philosophy. Even a hospital based educator should be able to call you back or email you.

Before registering for a class series:

• How long is the series? A minimum of 12 hours is needed to be a comprehensive series. At least 2 different class sessions over two different weeks, but  preferably a minimum of 4 class sessions. You may find classes up to 12 sessions. Be wary of condensed one or two day classes as there is not enough time to process information and retain it well. It IS worth the investment of time.
• When is the class? Day of week and time of day needs to fit into your lifestyle. Again, I encourage your investment over a period of time versus a one-day class.
• Where is the class held? Classes may be held in like-minded businesses, in home, care provider office or hospital.
• What organization is the instructor trained and certified with? Though certification is not required, it can be very important the training and background an educator has.  Check out the organization to make sure you agree with it.
• What does the instructor’s experience involve?
• What is the instructor’s philosophy and style?
  
• What is the cost of the course? Classes can cost anywhere from free through a hospital to a few hundred dollars. It really can be a wide range. Find your comfort level. Though expect to invest in a good class. Free or low cost for everyone is often not comprehensive in nature.
• What is the course content? A comprehensive class should include a variety of topics, such as, pregnancy basics,  common terminology, normal physiologic changes, exercise, nutrition, prenatal testing, birth plans, informed consent, communication skill building, overview of spontaneous labor and birth, labor milestones with comfort and position strategies, overview of all options in labor and birth, labor partner role,  immediate postpartum, navigating first weeks postpartum, overview of infant feeding, infant norms, medications and interventions, cesarean, unexpected events, role-playing scenarios, relaxation practice and local/online resources. It is usual to expect homework on top of class time as well.
• What are the birth outcome statistics for class participants? It may be difficult though to get true data whether a philosophy-based or method-based class.
• What is expected of me as a class participant?
• What do I need to bring?
• Who may come with me?
• Is there a lending library?

I hope you find this list helpful and are able to find the just right fit. I look forward to your feedback.

There is such a deep chasm and fracture within the doula community regarding in-hospital and out-of-hospital birth. On the one hand there are those who say anything goes in supporting women and their choices. On the other, there are those who say no doula should support a woman in the hospital environment because it is a “bad and dangerous” place to birth,  or at the very least should get kicked out if she is doing her job “right”.

Who is right? This is where it gets tricky to be sure.

With upwards of 98% of the birthing women going to the hospital in the United States, are WE really within the general doula scope of practice by taking such a hard stance of ignoring those women in need? Who is benefiting here? It is well known, that I am all for a doula deciding her practice style, what scenarios she is best suited to support within, and knowing who she is best able to support.  But to abjectly say, no doula should ever support a woman in a hospital birth, is to me akin to very interventive practitioners who believe that birth is inherently dangerous and a trauma waiting to happen. Thus, viewing every women and baby through high-risk lenses and subjecting them to high-risk protocols where there is no medical need encourages more intervention and higher-risk scenarios to actually occur.

Who does this serve taking such a hard line? Perhaps those speaking it, thinking they are pressing for the greater good. Definitely not the mothers who need the support and assistance navigating a sometimes difficult and stressful system. The mothers and babies are caught then between a rock and a hard place. Then they are effectively forced to go without support and help. The truth is women having hospital births NEED DOULA SUPPORT MORE than women choosing an out-of-hospital option.

Bottom line: I make no claim that it is an easy task to doula within the hospital environment. It is not. It can be brutal. Imagine for a moment, really, close your eyes and think of what happens, what you witness as a doula when you are there — then think of all the women who have no doula present — what happens to them? What do those women experience? What do those babies experience? Now, open your eyes and breathe for a moment. It is not pretty is it?

Right there is what keeps me taking hospital birthing clients. It requires very open communication and immense work prior to labor during prenatals running through scenarios, detailing needs and desires, making certain informed consent and refusal is understood for a variety of procedures, medications, and cesarean. A mother needs to be well-versed in how to use her self-advocacy voice as does her husband, partner or other main support person.

Looking at the flip-side now.

So the other ideal, er rather idea, is that a doula should support anyone and anything because she is a doula poses other issues in my mind.  I do not see anywhere in the job description that this is what a doula ought do.  Any one doula cannot be the right doula for every mother or scenario. This way of thinking can fall into  a cookie-cutter way of practicing, thinking one can be all to everyone. Doulas are people too. Each has individual abilities, biases that need to be addressed, history and points of view.

I think it has been mistaken that a good doula is one that has no say in how she practices or who she is best to serve.  I believe there is a doula for every type of scenario and mother. It is a very individual pursuit and fit.

I know some amazing niche doulas out there who support only high-risk mothers, multiples, same-sex couples, in-hospital birthers, planned cesareans….. The list could go on.

Honestly, I will say there are some amazing doulas who can work under this very open practice style effortlessly and with excellence.  I applaud those doulas, though I think that is the minority and most are not able to keep it up without finding a comfort zone long haul.

Childbirth is such a deeply intimate and intense process with so many variables, being the right fit all the way around is necessary in my humble opinion.  I have seen doulas deeply wounded and traumatized by what happens in the birth room. Sometimes that is unavoidable, but through years of interaction with many doulas, the running thread is that the doula had misgivings even during the interview that this was probably not a good fit but chose not to refer the mother out to someone she knew was better suited for whatever the reason.

Are women and babies really being served best under this model of practice? This is for you to go ahead and answer for yourself.

Bottom Line: Women and babies need individual care whether from a doula, nurse, or care provider. Can a doula be all things to all mothers? Some, I am sure. Overall I believe not. For the health of a doula and the health of her ability to practice and support well, finding the “comfort zone” can make the difference for the mother, baby and doula. Why? Because doula work is such an intense giving of oneself (emotionally, physically, even spiritually). A continual self-assessment needs to be done just where her true and honest “comfort zone” is. By doing this, a doula is caring not only for herself by avoiding burnout, but also for her future clients and her ability to care for others with excellence and utmost professionalism.

There has been much ado surrounding the language of breastfeeding being normal and usual versus the best for baby and mother in great thanks to Diane Weissinger. It is so valuable to recognize that while we all desire to be the best, we often hit the normal everyday averages in life. We are comfortable reaching a goal that seems more attainable. Best or better can feel so far out of reach where average and usual seem quite in reach most of the time. None of us generally want to be below the average or usual. Thus the language of the risks of NOT breastfeeding is so vital.

I would like to see the same type of language revolving around pregnancy and birth as well.

In the overall picture here is the usual occurrence: Ovulation leads to heightened sexual desire, which leads to sexual activity, which leads to pregnancy, which leads to labor, which leads to birth, which leads to breastfeeding…..

So how do we look at language as an important part of our social fabric and belief systems surrounding this process?

Let us look at contrasting statements of what is often heard and how a positive point of view can be adapted.

Pregnancy is: a burden, an illness, an affliction, a mistake, something to be tolerated……

Pregnancy is: a gift, wonderful, amazing, part of the design, someone to grow…..

Labor is: scary, worth fearing, the unknown, unpredictable, painful, to be avoided, to be numbed from, to be medicated, to be induced, out of control, unfeminine…..

Labor is: what happens at the end of pregnancy, hard work but worth it, manageable by our own endorphins and oxytocin, an adventure, not bigger than the woman creating it, to be worked with, worth be present for, is what baby expects……..

Pushing and Birth are: terrifying, physically too difficult, only works for women who are not too small, short, skinny, big, fat, young or old, responsible for pelvic floor problems, out of control, horrible……..

Pushing and Birth are: what happens after dilation completes, to help baby prepare for breathing, bonding and feeding, sometimes pleasurable, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, able to occur in water, standing, laying down, squatting, on hands and knees, often most effective when a woman is given the opportunity to spontaneously work with her baby and body, not always responsible for pelvic floor issues, amazing, hard work, worthwhile, sets the finals hormonal shifts in motion for mother and baby……

Is it really BETTER? I say no. It is usual and normal.

• Spontaneous labor is not better – it is the expected usual occurrence at the end of pregnancy.
• Unmedicated labor and birth is not better – it is what the body mechanisms and baby expect to perform at normal levels.
• Unrestricted access to movement, support and safety in response to labor progression is not better – it is the usual expectation to facilitate a normal process.
• Spontaneous physiologic pushing is not better – it is what a woman will just do, in her way.
• Spontaneous birth is not better – it is what a mother and baby do.
• Keeping mother and baby together without separation is not better – it is what both the mother and baby are expecting to facilitate bonding, breastfeeding, and normal newborn health.

Denying the norms and adding in unnecessary interventions, medications and separation is creating a risky environment for mothers and babies. Thus increasing fear, worry,and even a desire to be fixed at all costs.

Perhaps even worse, an atmosphere has been created where the abnormal has become the expected norm and the normal has become the problem to be eradicated.

Bottom line, our language matters and will help shape for the positive or negative the future of birth.

Women and babies are not made with a pop out button like some Thanksgiving turkeys indicating being done. That pesky due date becomes such great topic of debate. It can lead to unnecessary interventions (such as induction, provider change because of regulations or cesarean), emotional unease (I am broken, this baby is never coming, I am LATE one minute past 40 weeks), physical distress by way of decreased pregnancy change tolerance, and mess with a woman’s work schedule (when to start maternity leave or return to work date).

Prior to home pregnancy tests and ultrasound dating, the due date was much more of a due month. Now it seems everyone has bought into this mysterious due date being something very hard fact and unfailing.

Henci Goer wrote a tremendously helpful article called “When is that baby due? ” several years back that sheds light on this very issue. She states: “When it comes to determining your due date, “things,” as the Gilbert and Sullivan ditty goes, “are seldom what they seem.” The methods of calculation are far from exact, common assumptions about the average length of pregnancy are wrong and calling it a “due date” is misleading. Understanding these uncertainties may help to curb your natural impatience to know exactly when labor will begin.”

The most common way women are finding out the due date of their baby is by using an online calculator such as this:

However, this even from the federal website does not take into consideration ovulation, only length of cycle (which is an improvement over straight up LMP dating).

So how do women handle this notion of a due date? I asked the question and here are some responses.

• KZ -    “Last time, I told everyone my due date, and when E had other plans, I got the, “Have you had that baby, YET?? How long are they gonna make you go?” *cringe* This time, I’m wising up and saying Spring. That’s it. Spring.”
• SL – “I used a “due season”. I told my three year old that the leaves would change on the tree and we would probably have Thanksgiving dinner and she would be here sometime after that. ”
• KMC-M -”I love the Ish… december-ish”
• CLM -”I always give very generic answers to avoid the annoying “aren’t you due yet???” comments. I’ve also written on Christmas cards … “baby #3, due Spring 20??”. Once I was due at the very end of July. My well meaning neighbor was asking … “are you STILL pregnant?” on July 4th. Ugh.”
• LE – “Whenever someone asked my due date I always said, “he’ll come when he’s ready” or “when God decides he’s ready”
• SC – “Mid to late month was the closest I’d get.”

Seems these particular women either have previously gotten bitten by the pesky due date or learned in the first pregnancy not to put too much stock in an arbitrarily determined date. I say good for them!

As a midwife assistant, I now participate in the baby assessments. Some of these post birth assessments gestationally date baby. Often the dates are different than the due date assumption. Some earlier and some later.  This happens even with women who knew exactly when the last menstrual period, ovulation, and conception occurred along with cycle length.

Only the baby (and God according to my belief) knows the due date aka when he or she will press start.

Early is not one day prior to 40 weeks EDD just as late is not 40 weeks and 1 day over EDD. Full term pregnancy is defined as 37 weeks-42 weeks gestation.

I think it is high time “we” layoff pressuring mamas and their babies. “We” must stop trying to evict them earlier than they desire without a true medical reason. One day to any adult is nothing, but even a day to an unborn baby coming earthside can mean the difference between alive and thriving.

With the majority of women heading to the hospital to birth their babies, planning for the impending birth has become an important aspect of preparation in the United States (though the percentage of out of hospital births is rising).  Standardized, highly medicalized, non-individualized perinatal and postpartum care has really led the way to this being a need. Sadly for most women, attaining evidence-based and individualized patient care going into the hospital environment is not often simple or accessible even with a well thought out, communicated, and researched plan.

In light of the care women are likely to come across for themselves and their babies, below is a list of the common information that needs to be addressed during pregnancy for labor and birth  (for a comprehensive pdf, please email me at desirre@prepforbirth.com):

• What level of care is needed – low-risk (the most common) or high risk
• Eating and Drinking Orally
• Saline-Lock, running IV or Neither
• Fetal Monitoring – continuous or intermittent
• Pain Management Options
• In the event of Labor Induction
• In the event of Labor Augmentation
• Pushing and Delivery Options
• Cord Clamping Options
• Immediate Postpartum Baby Care, Assessments, Interventions & Treatments
• Immediate Postpartum Mother Care, Assessments, Interventions & Treatments
• In the event of a Cesarean
• Infant Feeding Options
• In the event of Mother/Baby Separation or NICU Stay

Once the information is gathered women are often urged to write it all down in document format.  The most recognizable term is Birth Plan. The very word plan though can be a stumbling block for both mothers and staffers alike.  It can come across hard line and lacking flexibility. Unfortunately, this can be construed by a staffer or care provider that a woman is telling them how to do their jobs or that she has very set even unrealistic expectations. Don’t kill the messenger here, that is really how it can be looked at and thought of by the medical professionals receiving it. I am not saying it is the “right” thinking.

The idea that the term “Birth Plan” may very well be outdated is intriguing to me.  Upon research, I have indeed found so many other ways to name this document.  I highly encourage a pregnant woman to try many different titles on for size to see what best suits her communication style and personality.

A birth plan by any other name list (please send me any other titles to add that are missing):

• Birth Preferences
• Birth Map
• Birth Dreams
• Birth Vision
• Birth Wishes
• Birth Needs
• Birth Desires
• Birth Wants

Be aware that whatever the document is called, it should be no more than a single page that speaks to the current practice culture in any given area. For example, if Cytotec (misoprostol) is never used for ripening, then saying it isn’t to be used is moot and can negate the other portions of the document to the reader because the reader may think the writer is out of touch with what goes on. Do the research on the birth location practices and protocols along with the care providers standing orders so the details are up-to-date.

By no means though should cookie-cutter care be what defines a woman’s options, desires or needs for her written “Birth Plan”.  Always discuss with care provider ahead of time. If a provider uses responses like, “You can try that but…”, “Just get the epidural because….”, “Why would you want to do that?”, “Having a natural birth doesn’t make you a hero.”, or anything similar, these are giant red flags. This could be the first insight that a woman and her provider do not share the same philosophy or idea of expected care. Red flag responses may very well be leading to a serious compromise to the provider’s desires no matter what is agreed to. Well crafted and designed lip service is how I see it. Please listen intently to the answers to questions.

Writing a “Birth Plan” is a valuable and pretty necessary undertaking when birthing in the hospital in my opinion and experience.

As a last thought, a “Birth Plan” document is not legal, but rather a communication tool and values clarification vehicle for a woman, her provider and the staff she will come in contact with.

Women often ask me what does pushing feel like. As an educator and doula it is probably one of the more challenging concepts to address.

Some of the imagery can be quite vulgar.  “Push like you are pooping.” Do women REALLY want the image of pooping out their babies?! Or the imagery puts pushing in a neat box. “The urge will overwhelm you and you cannot help it.” “You will just know.” Those do not adequately speak to what can occur. Some women get no urge to bear down until the baby is very low and engages the nerves. Others will have the urge when baby is high and dilation isn’t complete. Still other women do not get an intense urge at all regardless of pain management or natural birth.

For that matter, great rectal pressure may be felt, intensely abdominal use, incredible pelvic pressure may be experienced,  or frankly not much at all can be felt.

I believe whatever a woman’s body does is right for her birth and her baby.

Below are many quotes that others openly offered to help women everywhere have a deeper understanding of what pushing is like.

Quotes from real women

“My babies #1-4 practically fell out. #5 I was in what looked like early labor for 4 days. Midwife assistant came over, checked me, I was at 7 cm but ‘not in active labor’. I got into it quickly! Long story short I pushed, painfully, for 3.5 hours, baby had 11″ cord with a true knot. She needed to be pinked up but is almost 3 and is doing well.”

“When I was coached to push (w/ no 3..first natural birth) I was in agony. When I was left alone and did not push (w/ no 4), life was good.”

“I feel like if I can just get to the pushing phase, it will be a breeze from there.” (and it was. The whole “surrender/dilate” phase is much more challenging to me than the whole “take control/pushing” phase.)”

“Pushing was fantastic with my 2nd baby and awful with my 3rd! It was really surprising because after my 2nd birth I thought “Okay so pushing is the really fun and satisfying part! That’s when it gets EASY.” Then my third birth totally shocked me. Pushing was the most painful and difficult part of the birth. I had stayed so calm and collected… until then. Every pregnancy and birth is so different!”

“I love the way it feels to have a baby move through me and into my waiting hands.”

“The mirror really gave me focus and helped me push very effectively when I inspired by seeing a peek of baby head.”

“I *loved* pushing. I didn’t do it for very long (two contractions), but it was so great to finally get there. I was told to purple push (not in those terms – the nurse told me to hold my breath), and intellectually I knew I shouldn’t, but I tried it and it really did feel like I was more productive that way. I felt like a warrior. It was awesome.”

“Before anyone hates me for only pushing through two contractions, you should know that I’d been in labor for three days – so it all comes out in the wash ”

“Pushing with my 2nd was horrible. 3+ hours of the worst pain I had experienced at that point in my life. Turns out her little fist was up by her cheek (um ouch) and her head did not mold much. My 3rd I did not push because she was precipitous and we were trying to get to the hospital. I felt like all the energy in the world was gathering and swirling at my fundus and then suddenly flowed through me carrying her with it. It was the best physical experience of my life.”

“I have heard some say that pushing feels good.. um, I personally have not experienced that and I have had clients remark the same … :p”

“Hmm…Definitely the best part of labor and delivery. For me though – never had any “urge” to push but still had baby out in 20 mins…I think I was feeling determined being a VBAC mom…still, would have been easier if I felt the need to and not just contractions. “

“Heard lots of clients say it feels good after hours of labor”

“Difficult. I had an urge to push “early” every time. Once I got to the “ring of fire” it was awesome though.  I knew I almost was there.”

“Ahhh, I’m not so fond of the pushing. Did it for 2 1/2 hours with my daughter (LOA) and though it was only about 20 minutes with my boys, they were both OP. That was, shall we say, unpleasant. I cannot relate to those who’ve told me it was such a relief!”

“My labor was surprisingly short, only 6 hours and she’s my first baby so far. I woke up in active labor and at 4 cm and I wanted to push THE WHOLE TIME! It was horrible having the nurse say I couldn’t push yet when I wanted to so badly, but once I did get to push, oh my goodness, it felt incredible. So much control and power, it felt so good to finally work to end. 3 big pushes and there she was. ”

“Sheer, immeasurable power. Unbelievable!”

“Babies actually come out of your butt. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” One of my clients recently said that. ”

“Birth is shockingly rectal” – Gretchen Humphries. She was totally right.”

“Pushing with my first felt like I was satisfying an urge, an uncontrollable urge. It felt almost desperate I couldn’t stop it. (kinda like having that rectal urge when you REALLY have to poop). Pushing with my second was no big deal, I followed my urges again and pushed 3x and out she came in her 10# glory. It was extremely satisfying and powerful I felt like I had just finished exercising. Amazing!”

“The ring of fire OH MY it is indeed! Though as soon as the burn started the whole are went numb almost like too hot or too cold numb and the power of the urge to push my son out was almost beyond description.  Pushing was never easy for me as I have an unusual pelvic shape.  But my last son WOW no molding and quite a large head to birth him was incredible really.  No tearing, just some abrasion.  Recovery was a snap.”

“I had at the point of delivery what was the best orgasm of my life!”

“Pushing was totally primal.  I had an incredible urge and it took over.”

“The pressure of the baby entering deep into my pelvis and vagina was wild and almost overwhelming.”

“Feeling my baby when he was partially inside and partially outside of my body was a euphoric and surreal moment. The hour of pushing was well worth it.”

Bottom line – you and your baby are unique. You work together during all parts of labor including pushing through to delivery. Be confident. Use your intuition. Follow what your body desires to do.

Questions and Answers

1. I have had a previous episiotomy, do I need another one automatically? No you don’t.  Depending on how your scar has set and the position you push in the scar can re-open or it adhesions in the scar will need to be broken up.  I would suggest perineal massage prenatally if there are any adhesions to break them up and soften the area prior and to choose a pushing position that doesn’t put all the tension on that exact area.
2. Is is wrong to push when I am not fully dilated? Not necessarily.  Now I think grunty smaller pushes with those contractions can be effective to complete dilation if you are in transition.  Prior to that change the position you are laboring in to change where baby is placing pressure.  Knee chest can be very effective to abate very early pushing desire.
3. What if I poop during pushing? Some women will pass some stool and some won’t.  An open bottom is vital to pushing, so it is a normal but not always occurence.  A fantastic nurse, MW or doc will not actually wipe it away but simply cover as to not cause constriction of the sphincter muscles which can disturb the pushing progress. If it is possible to discard the stool without disrupting you, it will be done very quietly, quickly and discreetly.
4. I am very modest, do I have to have all my “glory” showing? Absolutely not.  You can maintain good modesty all the way up to delivery.  Even then you do not need to be fully exposed.  Truthfully a home birth or birth center birth with a midwife if likely going to help you have your modesty concerns respected and honored. Really no one needs to put hands in you during pushing, needs to stretch anything, or needs to see everything either.  A midwife is trained to see by taking a quick peek or simply to know when she needs to have hands ready to receive baby and to offer external positive pressure if mom wants.
5. Is there a “right” position to push in? There IS a right position for you, your baby and your pelvis. The only way to know is to try a variety of positions, pushing spontaneously and listening to your body.  Generally the lithotomy or semi-reclined position disallows the tail bone to move up and out to create more space. Side-lying, squatting, leaning in a mild squat, hands and knees, hands and knees with a lunge, and even McRoberts can be excellent to open a pelvis to a large degree. Pay attention and go for what feels right.

In westernized countries, television and the internet have almost completely replaced the generational teaching and learning found in the “circles” of the past. Women would gather over sewing, quilting, canning, and life events including pregnancy and childbirth. They offered support, told their stories, spoke of family life, shared their everyday knowledge, wisdom and expertise while the children played at their feet.

At first glance it seems that through these technologies women are able to gain vast amounts of incredible knowledge regarding childbirth.  There are very popular websites, message boards and forums to meet and greet other women who are expecting the very same month.  Any topic is available to explore. Excellent places for a sense of community and belonging. The information is so prevalent that some women even eschew childbirth classes because they feel well enough prepared from all the exposure. Fantastic to be sure, at first glance.

Upon a deeper look  with a critical eye at the most popular shows and on-line communities, it becomes pretty obvious that overwhelmingly the messages and scenes actually have little to do with real encouragement and instilling confidence in a woman’s design and inherent ability to birth.

Let’s start with the satellite/cable television shows on the learning and health channels. Stop for a moment and think of what occurred during the last episode you viewed.  Did you see a spontaneous labor from entry to hospital to birth without augmentation, epidural, or any other intervention except for intermittent monitoring and perhaps a saline lock (IV port) placed? Was it an induction with an epidural? Was it a cesarean or a vaginal delivery? Did she have adequate support? Was her background given in any detail? Who made the decisions? What about informed consent? Was the laboring woman paid attention too or were the machines heeded more? What sort of comfort measures did she employ? Was she ever out of bed? Who delivered the baby?  What response to her baby did the mother have? Who saw her baby first? With that clear memory in mind, how did you feel after viewing it? What thoughts came to your mind? Now consider that essentially all of the births shown take place in a hospital. In fact any birth that does not, is often touted as extreme or some other like descriptive.

Let’s move on for a moment.

Now let’s take a look at the most popular pregnancy websites, message boards and forums where women connect with one another.  The “conversations” and threads are filled with all things related to the impending birth. Chatter about baby showers, maternity leave, body changes, vaccinations, previous experiences, breastfeeding, nursery preparations and so much more. Really anything under the prenatal sun. Inspecting further though, there seems to be an inordinate amount of discussion regarding the need for scheduled inductions and cesareans and very little conversation or even support for natural or spontaneous labor and birth.

With intervention appearing to be the ruling majority within the technological communities and filling the television, how is a pregnant woman feeding her eyes, heart, and mind on this type of diet supposed to feel confident, uplifted and excited about her upcoming birth? I am uncertain that she can with the seeds of inadequacy, fear, brokenness, helplessness, and lack of options being sewn into her being at such an alarming ratio.  Sometimes yes interventions are needed, however, in practice it isn’t a need for many women and babies.

These shows and internet locales are like junk food. Like all junk food they are not to be an integral part of a healthy prenatal “diet” that will be encouraging, expand useful knowledge, grow confidence, spark self-advocacy, promote self-awareness, ignite excitement, and offer joy to the expecting mother.

How can an expecting mother improve her “diet” regardless of the type of birth she is planning? What are the better places to “shop”?

• Turning off the TV
• Check out and attend local groups and support meetings. Educational sessions and workshops are often free of charge. For example: Doula Groups, ICAN, Midwifery Groups, Birth Network, Birth Circles, and similar.
• Try some different message boards, forums and sites. See Blog Roll and Resources listed on this site.
• Seek out positive free videos to watch on You Tube.  http://prepforbirth.com/2009/07/30/birth-videos/
• Talk to women who have birthed in the hospital, birth center and at home. Get a variety of positive stories.
• Try some different reading on for size. http://prepforbirth.com/books-videos-and-more/
• Rent or borrow movies from Netflix, a doula or childbirth educator, such as, Business of Being Born, Pregnant in America, or Orgasmic Birth to name a few.
• Take the challenge to learn about and be open to the variety of birthing techniques, locations, options and provider types that women are utilizing.

Bottom line, the most prevalent “food group” in a diet is going to positively or negatively affect the parts and the whole of the journey to having a babe in arms.  No matter what the mother and baby live with the outcomes from the birth. Enriching the prenatal “diet” is not a guarantee of outcome or path to the birth. It does however give much more possibility and opportunity for both mother and baby to have a better birth and start together.

Many times over I have heard something similar to “If only my insurance would cover the childbirth class, doula, that provider or birth location. Then I could have the birth I really want for me and my baby.” That statement sadly says to me that women are settling for a provider, birth location, type of birth even that would not otherwise be chosen.  Even so far as having a repeat cesarean because the insurance covered location or provider does not “allow” VBAC.

So practically how is someone going to get the desired provider, location or birth? First think of appealing to the insurance company to add a specific location (even home) or provider (even a  home birth provider) to the plan. This may or may not come to fruition, but unless the process is undertaken it isn’t even a possibility. Second, think outside the insurance box.  Be creative. I am a believer that almost 100% of the time there is a way. It may not be easy, simple, or lack stress but likely possible.

Here are some of my ideas for paying for the birth location, care provider, education, or doula support really desired.

Ask for family, friends, co-workers to donate to fund(s) in lieu of routine shower gifts (you will likely not use most of that “stuff” anyway no matter how much you think you will).

Trimming Down = Money Savings

• Satellite/Cable tv – Lower or cancel service.
• Cell phone – lower minutes, negotiate new fee structure, change plans.
• Household utilities – Lower thermostat, take short showers, heat or cold proof home.
• House phone – Get rid of all extras on phone that you don’t need or go VoIP. Even set-up answering machine.
• Food – Grocery shop sales only (no impulse buying), use coupons, eat at home, brown bag to work, no more fancy coffee drinks.
• Entertainment – Get Netflix instead of going out to the movies, visit with friends or family in their homes or yours.
• Shopping – Cut back on extras you do not need to live.
• Vehicle – Car pool whenever possible, only run multiple errands together, walk if possible, use public transportation is available.
• Housing – Move to a lower rent area or to a smaller home. Even consider moving in with family to maximize savings.

Extra Cashflow

• Sell any unneeded items via yard sale or something akin to Craig’s List. This can apply to second vehicle as well.
• Take on a second job that can be done from home or even with a multi-level company.
• Ask husband or partner to temporarily take on a second job.
• Do you gourmet cook,  write, musically talented, sew, knit, paint or craft? You may be able to sell your creations or services.

Miscellaneous

• Barter
• Ask for payment plan.
• Look for less expensive supplies such as a “fishy pool” versus renting an AquaDoula.
• Choose a birth center or a home birth as the cost is significantly less than even a no-intervention natural hospital birth. Also your prenatal care is included in the fee unlike a planned hospital delivery.
• Hire a training doula. Often a lower fee.
• Start a savings account before you are pregnant.
• Plan ahead and pay down any existing debt prior to getting pregnant or in early pregnancy.

I hope some “light bulb” moments are had and there is encouragement in the ideas. There is almost always a way.

If I have left anything off the lists, please feel free to leave a comment and I will add.