Archive for the ‘Homebirth & Midwifery’ Category

5 Reasons Your Midwife Wants You to Hire a Doula

Wednesday, May 1st, 2019

partner supporting laboring woman in birth pool

Not only does evidence tell us a doula can have measurable benefits for both mothers and their babies, but their intangible benefits are also felt every day by those who hire them for their expert support.

Doulas are fast becoming standard-of-care, as they should. Women have always surrounded women in their childbearing year, from girlhood on up. We know that new mothers in America are too isolated. Society leaves us alone to manage a never-ending list of “shoulds” between hectic schedules, separation of families, and age segregation. 

People often ask me if home birthing families really need a doula. My answer is nuanced. I don’t believe every family “needs” a doula. Some families have support and help. Their own extended family, their religious community, or a close-knit community of friends may provide the needed community. Those families may not “need” a doula.

However, I do believe that every family would benefit from a doula. This is because a good doula will always add to the experience what is needed, and guard the space from that which is not. Even in a home birth setting. 

Additionally, if a family lacks anything in the way of support, then a doula is absolutely a necessity! She is worth every penny you pay her, and more. A doula’s positive influence cannot be overstated. I am overjoyed when I hear that a mother has chosen to add a doula to her support network.

Here are 5 good reasons to hire a doula if you are planning a midwife-attended home birth:

 

1: You are a first-time parent or a VBAC client.

A first-time mom’s labor is likely to take longer than a woman has labored before. If you have had a cesarean, there may be some additional emotional blockages related to your prior experience that you need to overcome in labor. There is nothing wrong with either of those things. We don’t worry a bit about longish labors. As long as you and your baby are laboring well together, we are content to wait.

However, we often will not come to stay until active labor is well-established. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is because we need to be as well-rested as possible in order to maintain you and your baby’s health and safety during the labor and birth process. Our choice will often be to sleep while we can. This allows us to maintain our ability to make critical decisions that require a clear head. 

The other reason we don’t want to arrive too early in labor is that your uterus may not want us there! Your body knows when your care provider is watching, and it may get very shy–slowing or even stopping the process until the nosy midwife is out of sight and mind. I have seen it several times, both in my years as a doula and as a midwife. 

This is where doulas save the day! They are much more able to come in early labor and stay. They will help you relax, rest, eat, drink, stay distracted and let your labor unfold in its own good time. Doulas are experts in peer support, and as such, their presence rarely interferes with the natural labor process, and we often see much more efficient early labors in mothers who have doulas. 

 

2: Doulas are kind of a birth fairy.

They come into the birth space, read the room, and are able to fit themselves in wherever they are needed. Perhaps your partner feels bit overwhelmed trying to get the pool set up while supporting you, so your doula takes over pool duty so your partner can focus on you. One of the kids wakes up, so your doula is able to stay with you while your partner comforts a child and puts them back to sleep (or vice versa). You and your partner are rocking your labor just fine, and your doula snaps a few intimate photos. Sometimes, she walks the dog, feeds a child, updates the family phone chain, and updates the midwife. Whatever the need is, your doula will have a magical ability to fill it intuitively. 

 

3: Doulas can read your labor like a book.

Sometimes parents have a hard time deciding when to call the midwife to come in labor. Especially if they are first-time parents, have had a previous hospital birth (or cesarean), or were induced in a previous labor. No matter how much we discuss those “when to call” moments prenatally, some parents will doubt their ability to assess what warrants a phone call or will be so absorbed in labor, they no longer think about it. You can assign your doula the task of updating the midwife as needed, so you don’t have to break your concentration to do it. Plus, doulas know the clinical lingo and can communicate in concrete terms that your midwife will easily understand and acknowledge.

 

4: Comfort. Comfort. Comfort.

As a midwife, I do care about your comfort in labor, because I understand its correlation with health, well-being, and safety on multiple levels. However, I think more about how long it’s been since I listened to heart tones, rather than whether or not you need your hips squeezed. Not to mention charting. (Oh! the paperwork! *dramatic faint*) Midwives offer as much comfort as we can in the context of our primary responsibilities, but doulas are all about comfort. All the comfort. All the time. Comfort for the sake of comfort, in a very uncomfortable process! Comfort is a doula’s primary responsibility. You really can’t beat that.

 

5: Community Support.

As another midwife so aptly pointed out, your choices in midwives may be much more limited than your choices in doulas. Whether you are a woman of color, from a faith community, LGBT, or some other minority group, finding a doula who aligns more closely with your values and needs can help round out your care and make your experience much better than it otherwise would have been.

Pretty much any experienced midwife is going to have the skill set and competence you need in order to stay low-risk, healthy, empowered, and safe. Your community doula can help you create a beautiful, meaningful experience around your childbearing year through comfort, education, and learning to speak your needs effectively to your midwife (who will be learning right alongside you). The more trust that can be built among the members of your chosen support network, the better off you and your baby will be, and community doulas are key to this for many families.

Birth local. Hire a midwife. Then, hire a doula

You won’t regret it.

 

Did you hire a doula for your home birth? Why or why not? What was your experience?

 

5 Things Midwives, Doulas, and Postpartum Moms Love

Monday, July 6th, 2015

5 Things Midwives, Doulas, & Postpartum

As I was in the shower today, after two births in 24 hours–one in the hospital as a doula, the other at home as a student midwife–I was appreciating the perfect temperature of the water, the smell of my shampoo, and the utterly clean feeling I had when I stepped out onto the mat. I was positively luxuriating in my shower! I couldn’t help but compare it to the first shower I took after my babies were born. That first shower post-birth is simply divine.

This got me on a train of thought I hadn’t really contemplated before.

Midwives, doulas, and postpartum mothers share a sisterhood in more than just birth. There are five things we all love after a birth, whether it was our own or one we attended.

    1: Taking off the sweaty/goopy bra.
    Taking off the bra at the end of the day is magnificent enough. Imagine peeling off a sweaty, potentially goopy and wet bra! Birthing a baby is hard work, and so is attending a birth. (Not on the same level, obviously, but we often get very physical, sweaty, and wet too) Oh, the glorious freedom of a bra slipped off and tossed aside!

    2: That first shower.
    Letting all the mess of birth wash down the drain. The sweat of hard work. The fluids, vernix, and blood of the birth. Even some of the heightened emotions are shared. They are on different scales but are sourced in the same hormones. And yes, birth professionals tend to get a little baptized with the birth fluids too. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to get into that warm shower and just feel clean again!

    3: The first meal.
    Whether it’s steak and eggs, sushi, fried chicken, gyros, cheese and crackers, bananas and peanut butter, smoothies, or a fistful of Cheetos, it doesn’t matter. No food tastes as good as post-birth food.

    4: The first nap.
    Most births happen in the wee hours before dawn, so everyone involved loses some sleep. Combine that with a hit of high-inducing oxytocin, endorphins, and adrenaline, and you have a perfectly natural sleeping potion circulating in your blood. The first nap post-birth is the best! Even if it’s interrupted by a hungry baby, or a text from a client (we’re usually still on call), it’s still lovely to sleep. Mostly because we are in bed. It’s all about the bed. And the cool side of the pillow.

    5: Seeing your kids again.
    There’s something about a family coming together again after the birth of a new baby. After you’ve come home from the hospital, or your kids were brought back home from Grandma’s, being together as a family with a new member to induct is just plain special. Some of my favorite post-birth memories, when my kids were born, were introducing them to their new tiny sibling. Now, walking in the door from the latest birth, and being greeted by four sets of arms hugging me, and four voices saying “Yay! Mommy!!!” is such a blessing.

What is your favorite thing after having a baby and/or attending a birth?

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany

Student Midwives Learning

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

This is how we do it! My turn on the bed!

This is how we do it! My turn on the bed!

The skills needed to become a competent midwife are seemingly infinite. There doesn’t seem to be an end to what we need to learn, academically and practically speaking. The academic part is relatively easy. It comes from reading, study groups, online student midwife chats, watching videos, and good mentors. Where does the practical side come from? How do we actually learn to do what we are reading about? Book knowledge only goes so far, after all. Especially for the skills that involve a certain level of social intimacy with our clients, such as vaginal exams.

Simply put, we gain the skills through practice. Practice is a close second, and then after that, practice rounds it out.

Yet, it doesn’t seem fair to “practice” on clients. Rather, we practice on one another until we have mastered the skill, then we can transfer that practical knowledge to our clientele much more safely and professionally.

How does it look here at Preparing for Birth, among my fellow students? Our preceptor came up with a great idea to give us a chance to apply our academic skills practically. Once a month, we have a scheduled four-hour block of time to discuss, learn, and implement skills. This month, we learned to do speculum exams, PAP smears, and bimanual exams. This required some chatting and warming up first, since it’s a rather intimate skill set, then we all washed properly, gloved up, and took turns on one another. We had another midwife with us, as well as her student, so it was a sizable group.

There was a lot of laughter, affirming language, encouragement, correction, and guidance. I came away feeling confident that I have a good starting point with those skills, and I am really looking forward to practicing again, and honing the skills to a fine, sharp point. The above picture is from our skills day — a rare glimpse into the world of student midwifery. As I lay there, I could not resist the opportunity to take this shot, and share it. These women are powerhouses, and I am so glad to be a part of such a community!

We are student midwives, with our preceptors, walking an incredible and humorous road paved by generations of women who have gone before. We learn best in community. We are not islands. We are a a village. Together, we learn, we grow, we change, and we improve, all to serve women and their families a little better everyday.

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany

Homebirth: The Basics.

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

General Information

The Safety of Homebirth

Other

My Favorite Colorado Springs Midwives

A Little Birth Poetry.

Tuesday, January 20th, 2015

Birth is amazing.

I attended three in the space of about 40 hours this weekend. Two butter births on a Saturday morning. Both filled with intense power and work, capped by peace when they were all over. The other a triumphant victory, and a step toward healing of a past rough experience.

Women are incredible.

There was the most spectacular sunrise on the way to one of the births. I have never seen one that struck my heart so deeply. The very sky seemed on fire. Too bad I was driving, and couldn’t capture it to share with you. A fitting beginning for the act of creation that is birth.

Though the baby didn’t enter the world with the dawn, the dawn greeted him anyway.

I was struck, as I watched each mama work hard to bring her baby to her arms in her own way. Each one unique. No two women labor alike. And thousands do it together everyday. What a marvelous sisterhood we share!

I was reminded, yet again, why I do this work. Why I am a doula. Why I want to be “with woman” as a midwife. This work is sacred. Beautiful. Insanely difficult. But so very worth it.

I rarely write poetry, but I hope these verses hit home. Each one represents one of the mothers I served this weekend. They’re kind of silly. Just haikus, but I had fun writing them. Enjoy.

Labor at sunrise,
Intensifying slowly.
Care, quiet, tranquil.

A hint, it’s coming.
Giant, crashing, clamoring,
“I can’t, but I did!”

Freight train rolling fast,
Can’t quite keep up, but she does.
Dad meets tiny pirate.

How did you spend your weekend?

Grace & Peace,
Tiff

So It Begins.

Monday, December 22nd, 2014
Image credit: knowyourmidwife.com

Image credit: knowyourmidwife.com

In November, The North American Registry of Midwives accepted my application into the PEP program.

That should really have about eleventy-one exclamation points behind it. After all, it is the ripening of a long-blossoming fruit. The result of  a dream hatched over seven years ago, when my youngest was just a baby. I called the midwife who had walked with me during my last two pregnancies, Merrie, and asked to meet with her in order to discuss becoming a midwife. In her wisdom, I remember that she said to me, “You don’t want to be a midwife,” and proceeded to tell me all the reasons why it was not something to just walk into.

It was at that meeting when I first heard the word, “doula.” A what-a? Her assistant at the time was one, and Merrie encouraged me to meet with her. She assured me that if I could hack it as a doula, then midwifery might become an option later. That is how I was born into the life of a birth professional. I took my training in the fall of 2007, when my youngest was only two months old. A lovely babysitter came with me, and I nursed him through sessions, and she played with him in between. I worked slowly through my training, taking the maximum amount of time CAPPA gave me to finish my certification, but it was worth it.

Through it, I gained experience outside my comfort zones. I learned that I can live on call, and work around my family.

Soon, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to teach. So, I trained through CAPPA (of course), under Desirre Andrews (who was a doula, lactation educator, and a dually-certified childbirth educator at the time), to become a childbirth educator. Teaching has always been at the heart of who I am. I often find myself teaching, even when it isn’t wanted or needed–a character trait I hope is being shaped into a far better tool than it has been in the past. At this point, it became obvious that I needed a place to teach, but not having a regular income, nor a family budget to pay for a place, I sought help from Desirre again. She had a lovely office and classroom space, and was wanting an educator to help her as she began to assist a midwife (the same one mentioned above, in fact). I approached her, and asked that she become my professional mentor, and allow me to work with her to grow, teach, learn, and have space and time to build Birth In Joy into whatever it needed to become.

I haven’t looked back since. It has been a wonderful working relationship, and I have been blessed with a treasured friend whom I feel is my “big sister.” Working with her has challenged my perceptions, my biases, my experience, my emotions, my mind, my heart, and my very character.

Soon, even that was no longer enough for me. I have always taken a light client load, because my family needed me to. So, I knew I wasn’t beginning to burn out. Far from it! My passion and love for this work has only grown, over the years. Thanks mostly to my fabulous, beautiful clients and students, who have shown me quite a cross-section of birthing women and the strength they each have in common. What a world we live in, and what a privilege to have walked with so many through such a sacred, intimate time in their lives!

Desirre declared to me, when she started assisting Merrie, that she only wanted to gain insight and skills she could use as a doula. She wasn’t going to become a midwife.

Ahem.

She is now a Certified Professional Midwife, registered in the state of Colorado. Ahhhh, life. We never really know, do we?

Except that I do know. Midwifery has always been my goal. My dream. What I want to be when I grow up.

So, as soon as Desirre became a preceptor with NARM this past September, I started my paperwork. Phase 1 has been accepted by NARM, and I am working on both Phase 2 and the 43 pages of skills I must master and prove. (No, shaking chicken bones and chanting are not on the skills exam. Just so you know.)

So it begins.

My journey to becoming a midwife. “With woman.”

I didn’t know I was ready until one day, I was.

What is your passion? What dreams are you pursuing?

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany

Book Review Friday: “Giving Birth” by Catherine Taylor

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

Giving BirthGiving Birth by Catherine Taylor
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is one of those books which I wish I would have taken notes throughout, to better enable me to review it accurately. Her tone, her writing style, and the content were all excellent.

Her writing style is accessible, honest, frank, and open–the way a good journalist’s should be. Her descriptions of the various women she meets, the places she goes, and the births she attends as an observer or doula are vivid without being wordy.

I found myself moved to nearly to tears several times (I’m not much of a crier, so “almost to tears” is saying a lot) throughout the book.

It’s picture of midwifery as a profession, from Certified Nurse-Midwives to direct-entry midwives is respectful and unbiased. She shares the reality of the political landscape all midwives must work in, the challenges they face, and the little triumphs on behalf of women and their babies.

Even if you are not into birth, I would recommend this book to every woman – whether you plan to have children, have children already, or plan to never have children. It can speak powerfully to any of us.

View all my reviews

Essential Oils in Pregnancy, Labor, & Birth: Part I ~ Safety Guidelines.

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

Welcome to Birth In Joy, and a new, short series on essential oils you can use in pregnancy, labor, and birth by my dear friend and colleague, Kim Prather.

Kim Prather is a wife to Ryan and mom of 5, learning how to use therapeutic grade essential oils to live a healthier life! Join her, as she learns more about the wonders of God’s creation and how to use essential oils in everyday life, and special situations! She is learning and sharing about Young Living Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, and loves to help those who are interested in learning more themselves. You can contact her at Front Range Scentsabilities by clicking HERE.

Disclaimer: The essential oils described in this post refer only to therapeutic grade essential oils. I only recommend Young Living essential oils, as I am certain of their high quality. This is for informational purposes only. Different people will respond differently to the use of essential oils.

Essential Oils in Pregnancy, Labor, and Birth: Part I ~ Safety Guidelines for Essential Oils

I created this information sheet for a class that I taught recently to birth professionals. A few of the warnings at the beginning I included as I wasn’t allowed to ONLY promote Young Living, so I wanted to be sure to have my bases covered in case they tried inferior oils. I’ve added a few personal notes in here too! Please comment with questions and your stories!

Important Essential Oil Safety Rule:

Always have carrier oil or pure vegetable oil close by to wipe off essential oils if needed. Apply the pure vegetable or carrier oil to a cotton ball, tissue or handkerchief to dilute and remove the oil. Keep essential oils away from the eyes and the eye area. DO NOT rub your eyes or handle contact lenses with essential oils on your fingers.

The most common Essential Oil Safety Mistake:

If you get oil in your eye, immediately remove the oil by gently dabbing your eye with a cotton ball or tissue that has vegetable or carrier oil on it. This will help dilute the oil. Do not flush the eyes with water! Water spreads the oil and could make it worse. Oils are not water soluble.

One of the most important rules for essential oil safety is to always test an essential oil on the skin before use. Each person has their own unique body chemistry and just as foods affect people differently, so do oils. Testing the oil on the soles of the feet is the safest place. Always test here for babies and children and for those with allergies. Another location is on the inside of the arm just above the elbow. 10-15 minutes is usually sufficient. If the person you are testing is prone to allergies, or unusually sensitive, allow for 30 minutes. Testing allows you to see how their body will respond. Always ask about allergies.

The following are essential oil safety guidelines that are important for you to know:

1. Always have vegetable oil or carrier oil close by when applying essential oils. This is to dilute and remove the oil if necessary. Do not try and dilute the essential oils with water, it will spread the oil and could make it worse.

2. Certain oils should always be diluted. They can burn and injure the skin. Oils high in phenols, citrals and cinnamic aldehyde, such as Thyme, Oregano, Clove and Savory (phenols), Lemongrass (citrols), Cinnamon Bark (cinnamic aldehyde).

3. Always use a dispersing agent, such as bath gel base, when adding essential oils to bath water. Never add undiluted essential oils to bath water as they can injure or burn the skin.

4. Do not apply undiluted or neat essential oils to parts of the body that are hot, dry, or tender. Instead, use a compress that has been soaked in cold water filled with dispersed essential oils.

5. Use only therapeutic grade essential oils and oil blends. This is extremely important regarding essential oil safety. Before ingesting essential oil, or applying it to your skin, know and trust your source. Most oils contain chemicals that may be dangerous and toxic. I only recommend Young Living Essential Oils because of their purity and quality.

Sources:

Really?! Fear Slows Down Labor?!

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

It’s been awhile, birthy world! Thank you for your patience. I’ve had quite the interesting summer so far, how about you? Anyway. Today’s post.

Go ahead and go read this short article before you proceed here: Fear Makes Labor Longer, Study Finds.

Image found at seamlessbrand.blogspot.com

So, they’ve “discovered” that fear slows down labor. Really?

This is something women have known innately for thousands of years, and something that natural birth professionals have been preaching for decades.

We cannot make labor happen faster than it should. However, there are things we can do to slow it down – and harboring fear is one huge one. It’s called the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle. A phrase coined by Dr. Grantly Dick-Read, a pioneer in natural childbirth.

Essentially, it works like this: Mom feels the pains of her first contractions, and fear creeps in that she will not be able to cope when it gets harder. This raises her stress hormones, which ready her for flight, and she tenses up. At the peak of her contraction, her carried tension leads to a greater sensation of pain, and she again begins to fear what comes next. She fears she will not be able to cope, and the cycle begins all over again. Not much fun, I’m afraid.

How do we break that cycle?

1) Hire a doula.
I address a mother’s fears by listening to her, and helping her work through them verbally ahead of time if at all possible. This can even be done in labor. Even small fears have the potential to become big ones in the right environment, so never dismiss any fears you have as “silly.” Address it, work through it, and let it go as best you can.

2) Take an evidence-based childbirth class.
In class is where you can find all kinds of practical tips, tools, and techniques (hooray for alliteration!), for coping with any kind of pain or discomfort you may have during labor. It’s a chance for your support person to learn how to best help you, and you can prioritize ahead of time what techniques you would like to try first.

Also, the more you know about the basic anatomy and physiology of normal birth, the less likely you are to fear it. It kind of takes away all the mystery, and sheds light on an aspect of your womanhood you may never have really understood before. I know that very understanding was a huge help to me as I labored with each of my children.

3) Consider home birth.
No, really. Do it. Look into it. Especially if you have a strong aversion to hospitals and doctors normally. What better way to minimize fear than by being in your own space? Where everyone caters to your needs in labor. Where no one crosses personal boundaries “for your own/baby’s good.” Where you have the most control over the environment. Midwives almost always offer a free consultation, and it never hurts to ask questions! (Visit my home birth & midwifery link at the top of the page if you have more questions.)

4) Learn effective stress management techniques.
These don’t just work for labor – they work for life. They are practical things you can even teach your young children to do when they are feeling stressed. We all know that stress can make us sick, so learning to do this is paramount to all of us in the crazy-fast-paced world. Incidentally – many of the basic relaxation techniques taught in childbirth classes are great stress management tools!

Among many other tools, you can use prayer, physical relaxation techniques, massage, warm compresses, breathing, essential oils, and herbs.

Once the cycle is broken, and you are relaxed, your labor will progress much more quickly and bearably. You may even enjoy many parts of it! It’s not as overwhelming when you know that it is all perfectly orchestrated to bring your baby earthside as safely and effectively as possible. Eliminating fear from the equation allows a better cycle to work: Rhythm, Relaxation, & Ritual cycle (Penny Simkin).

Well, it’s not so much a cycle as it is a principle at work.When you are able to get into a groove of some kind, to find your rhythm, you are able to relax more effectively. You will create little rituals that mark time and space for you in a place where time and space mean almost nothing. It sends you to your primitive brain (a.k.a. “Labor Planet”), and helps you handle your labor as you were intended to handle it: one contraction, one rest period at a time.

When you are relaxed well, you are able to handle everything your labor brings forward. You can crest your contractions like waves, accepting them and holding realistic expectations of your own ability to continue working as long as you need to.

A woman relaxed in childbirth is a woman of power, strength, and faith.

A woman relaxed in childbirth allows her labor to work as quickly and efficiently as it was designed to. There is nothing to slow it down when fear is out of the way.

The beauty of it is that it also has a physiologic effect on your labor! Women, relaxed and uninhibited, will MOVE in labor. They will move a lot. And every movement of mother encourages the baby to move, which in turn encourages the cervix to move, which encourages mom to move, and on we go. The beautiful cycle of relaxation and courage!

Embrace it by educating yourself and taking nothing for granted.

If you have had children before, what was the one thing that helped you cope with each contraction the most? What led you to try that? What fears, if any, did you confront in your childbearing year?

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany Miller, CLD, CCCE

Some Say I Am Brave

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

Image from http://www.vickidonlan.com

Some say I am brave for choosing homebirth. To me, that’s like saying I’m brave for having a big wedding. No matter how involved the planning, we all know the real work of marriage starts when the wedding is over.

So it is with birth. Our childhood, our growing up, and our pregnancy is the training ground. Birth is the opening ceremony. Motherhood is the marathon.

Some say I am brave for choosing homebirth. Others would counter that choosing a hospital birth is brave.

I say choosing to become a mother is brave, no matter where you choose to bring your child into the world. I say learning to make fully informed decisions — guided by a beautiful hybrid of evidence-based information and your intuition — is brave.

Doing this often means going against the flow of society in general, and the tide of modern obstetrics in specific.

It means navigating endless resources, asking questions, and taking time to figure out answers. It means identifying, confronting, and processing fears, anxieties, and stressors that hinder you from being able to fully trust your body and your chosen care provider. It means letting go of a process we have very little control over, when all is said and done, and forming realistic expectations about your birth based on your unique emotional health, health history, and risk factors.

It means being able to tell your well-meaning loved ones that you appreciate their input, but that you are choosing a different way than they did. It sometimes means being willing to give up your ideal for reality — whether that entails a homebirth transfer, an unplanned cesarean, or an accidental homebirth.

The location of your birth doesn’t matter nearly as much as how you got there.

Navigating the road on this journey isn’t as simple as using GPS systems to decide where to turn. It’s less like a road trip, and more like a sea voyage. You may have all the tools in the world in your boat, but unless you use them, the horizon looks exactly the same no matter which direction you look. Sure, you can guess which direction is the right way to go, but you can’t really know unless you have a destination in mind, and you’re able to use the tools around you.

It’s up to you to pick up those tools and make use of them. No one else is really in that boat with you.

It’s up to you to be brave.

Where do you want to go?

Do your homework. Take nothing for granted. Never say never. Then, when you know where you want to be, pick up the tools you have and get yourself there. No one else can (or will) do this for you.

Some say I am brave for choosing homebirth.

What really made me brave was my willingness to open my mind and look beyond the status quo at all the options available to me. That was the hard part. What continues to make me brave is looking four little ones in the face each morning, and loving them in spite of the challenges that mothering them presents.

Some say I am brave. I say that all mothers are brave; some just have not figured it out yet.

When did you realize your bravery as a mother? In what moments have you been brave as a mother?

Pick up good books. Take an evidence-based childbirth class. Know where evidence-based information resides on the internet. (It’s not typically at BabyCenter, just FYI.) Ask questions of your care provider every appointment. Hire a doula. Look outside your box. Interview providers you might not have considered. Confront your anxieties and fears about birth – with professional help if you think you need it.

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany