In westernized countries, television and the internet have almost completely replaced the generational teaching and learning found in the “circles” of the past. Women would gather over sewing, quilting, canning, and life events including pregnancy and childbirth. They offered support, told their stories, spoke of family life, shared their everyday knowledge, wisdom and expertise while the children played at their feet.

At first glance it seems that through these technologies women are able to gain vast amounts of incredible knowledge regarding childbirth.  There are very popular websites, message boards and forums to meet and greet other women who are expecting the very same month.  Any topic is available to explore. Excellent places for a sense of community and belonging. The information is so prevalent that some women even eschew childbirth classes because they feel well enough prepared from all the exposure. Fantastic to be sure, at first glance.

Upon a deeper look  with a critical eye at the most popular shows and on-line communities, it becomes pretty obvious that overwhelmingly the messages and scenes actually have little to do with real encouragement and instilling confidence in a woman’s design and inherent ability to birth.

Let’s start with the satellite/cable television shows on the learning and health channels. Stop for a moment and think of what occurred during the last episode you viewed.  Did you see a spontaneous labor from entry to hospital to birth without augmentation, epidural, or any other intervention except for intermittent monitoring and perhaps a saline lock (IV port) placed? Was it an induction with an epidural? Was it a cesarean or a vaginal delivery? Did she have adequate support? Was her background given in any detail? Who made the decisions? What about informed consent? Was the laboring woman paid attention too or were the machines heeded more? What sort of comfort measures did she employ? Was she ever out of bed? Who delivered the baby?  What response to her baby did the mother have? Who saw her baby first? With that clear memory in mind, how did you feel after viewing it? What thoughts came to your mind? Now consider that essentially all of the births shown take place in a hospital. In fact any birth that does not, is often touted as extreme or some other like descriptive.

Let’s move on for a moment.

Now let’s take a look at the most popular pregnancy websites, message boards and forums where women connect with one another.  The “conversations” and threads are filled with all things related to the impending birth. Chatter about baby showers, maternity leave, body changes, vaccinations, previous experiences, breastfeeding, nursery preparations and so much more. Really anything under the prenatal sun. Inspecting further though, there seems to be an inordinate amount of discussion regarding the need for scheduled inductions and cesareans and very little conversation or even support for natural or spontaneous labor and birth.

With intervention appearing to be the ruling majority within the technological communities and filling the television, how is a pregnant woman feeding her eyes, heart, and mind on this type of diet supposed to feel confident, uplifted and excited about her upcoming birth? I am uncertain that she can with the seeds of inadequacy, fear, brokenness, helplessness, and lack of options being sewn into her being at such an alarming ratio.  Sometimes yes interventions are needed, however, in practice it isn’t a need for many women and babies.

These shows and internet locales are like junk food. Like all junk food they are not to be an integral part of a healthy prenatal “diet” that will be encouraging, expand useful knowledge, grow confidence, spark self-advocacy, promote self-awareness, ignite excitement, and offer joy to the expecting mother.

How can an expecting mother improve her “diet” regardless of the type of birth she is planning? What are the better places to “shop”?

• Turning off the TV
• Check out and attend local groups and support meetings. Educational sessions and workshops are often free of charge. For example: Doula Groups, ICAN, Midwifery Groups, Birth Network, Birth Circles, and similar.
• Try some different message boards, forums and sites. See Blog Roll and Resources listed on this site.
• Seek out positive free videos to watch on You Tube.  http://prepforbirth.com/2009/07/30/birth-videos/
• Talk to women who have birthed in the hospital, birth center and at home. Get a variety of positive stories.
• Try some different reading on for size. http://prepforbirth.com/books-videos-and-more/
• Rent or borrow movies from Netflix, a doula or childbirth educator, such as, Business of Being Born, Pregnant in America, or Orgasmic Birth to name a few.
• Take the challenge to learn about and be open to the variety of birthing techniques, locations, options and provider types that women are utilizing.

Bottom line, the most prevalent “food group” in a diet is going to positively or negatively affect the parts and the whole of the journey to having a babe in arms.  No matter what the mother and baby live with the outcomes from the birth. Enriching the prenatal “diet” is not a guarantee of outcome or path to the birth. It does however give much more possibility and opportunity for both mother and baby to have a better birth and start together.

Many times over I have heard something similar to “If only my insurance would cover the childbirth class, doula, that provider or birth location. Then I could have the birth I really want for me and my baby.” That statement sadly says to me that women are settling for a provider, birth location, type of birth even that would not otherwise be chosen.  Even so far as having a repeat cesarean because the insurance covered location or provider does not “allow” VBAC.

So practically how is someone going to get the desired provider, location or birth? First think of appealing to the insurance company to add a specific location (even home) or provider (even a  home birth provider) to the plan. This may or may not come to fruition, but unless the process is undertaken it isn’t even a possibility. Second, think outside the insurance box.  Be creative. I am a believer that almost 100% of the time there is a way. It may not be easy, simple, or lack stress but likely possible.

Here are some of my ideas for paying for the birth location, care provider, education, or doula support really desired.

Ask for family, friends, co-workers to donate to fund(s) in lieu of routine shower gifts (you will likely not use most of that “stuff” anyway no matter how much you think you will).

Trimming Down = Money Savings

• Satellite/Cable tv – Lower or cancel service.
• Cell phone – lower minutes, negotiate new fee structure, change plans.
• Household utilities – Lower thermostat, take short showers, heat or cold proof home.
• House phone – Get rid of all extras on phone that you don’t need or go VoIP. Even set-up answering machine.
• Food – Grocery shop sales only (no impulse buying), use coupons, eat at home, brown bag to work, no more fancy coffee drinks.
• Entertainment – Get Netflix instead of going out to the movies, visit with friends or family in their homes or yours.
• Shopping – Cut back on extras you do not need to live.
• Vehicle – Car pool whenever possible, only run multiple errands together, walk if possible, use public transportation is available.
• Housing – Move to a lower rent area or to a smaller home. Even consider moving in with family to maximize savings.

Extra Cashflow

• Sell any unneeded items via yard sale or something akin to Craig’s List. This can apply to second vehicle as well.
• Take on a second job that can be done from home or even with a multi-level company.
• Ask husband or partner to temporarily take on a second job.
• Do you gourmet cook,  write, musically talented, sew, knit, paint or craft? You may be able to sell your creations or services.

Miscellaneous

• Barter
• Ask for payment plan.
• Look for less expensive supplies such as a “fishy pool” versus renting an AquaDoula.
• Choose a birth center or a home birth as the cost is significantly less than even a no-intervention natural hospital birth. Also your prenatal care is included in the fee unlike a planned hospital delivery.
• Hire a training doula. Often a lower fee.
• Start a savings account before you are pregnant.
• Plan ahead and pay down any existing debt prior to getting pregnant or in early pregnancy.

I hope some “light bulb” moments are had and there is encouragement in the ideas. There is almost always a way.

If I have left anything off the lists, please feel free to leave a comment and I will add.

While “teaching” childbirth class the topic of being a consumer is addressed often in a variety of ways.  I have a firm belief that a woman has the ability to understand, be well educated, and make her own decisions. It is in no way in my job description to tell someone else how she must birth or how to do it in the right way.  She is the one who needs to take the information, explore it and apply it to her self and situation.  Being a consumer in her childbearing year is a key component.

I have a great and deep sense of obligation to give truthful, helpful, real life applicable information to the families I am blessed to work with.  Because of this my mantra is,  “You go home or stay home with your baby and are the one who must live with the decisions and outcomes from them. Not the doctor, midwife, nurse, doula, educator – no one else.  We all go home to our own lives. So if you have to live with all that happens then do your best to choose wisely to what you can live with.”  No mother escapes the outcomes and the legacy it leaves behind forever no matter who makes the decisions for her. Even if it seems easier at the time to allow others to call the shots, I can hope the epiphany of this will help the pregnant woman to push for what she really needs and wants instead of being a passenger in her own process.

Birth options are integrated into prenatals and/or class structure as we discuss birth philosophy, birth planning, re-interviewing care provider, realistic expectations for chosen birth location, and interventions and medications.  Most often I find that women have no idea that there are so many options available for the asking or available in a reasonably close proximity to our local area.  This tells me that care providers expect the burden of knowing the options is to be on the pregnant woman to find out about, explore, and ask for.  She may find that in this process she and her care provider/birth location are either well on or not on the same page with her needs and desires.  This is where she can decide if needed to seek another provider and/or birth location.  There almost always is a way, it may mean more work, effort, and at times out of pocket expense. Some women choose to relocate, ask for help with out of pocket expenses in lieu of baby shower gift, petition insurance to cover the “right” provider…

Really as a consumer the burden is on her to find the right fit and go for it.  It is not for her to fit into whatever is the local expectation for her as a birthing woman.  This comes down to something akin to buying a car because the dealer tells you this is the car you must buy because everyone else has bought it and even though it clearly does not suit your needs, you still buy it.  I have never heard of that happening, yet I hear of women day in and day out having this sort of exchange from prenatal care through the birthing day with their care provider and/or birth location staff.

When it comes down to it, I really want women to have what is individually needed and desired. Who is paying the bills? Who is keeping the hospitals, birth centers, ob/gyns and homebirth midwives in business? Those caring for birthing women ought sit up and take notice. You all wouldn’t exist without birthing women paying for your services.

Every provider or birth location has a practice style, protocol base,  etc.  So why not honestly explain expectations, protocols, practice style in detail at the first visit or during the tour so the mother who is hiring you or birthing at your location can decide whether or not right off the bat if this is a solid fit? No one provider or location is going to fit with every mother nor is every mother going to fit with every provider or location.  Whatever a provider or birth location is good at, expects,  and is striving to be, put it out there so the mother coming in knows what she is buying in to.

My dream is that every birthing woman will know all the options and subsequently exercise her want to the care she desires even if it means walking with her cash or insurance card, since ultimately she lives with all that transpires positive, negative, or in between.

As practice through the ages and evidence shows, support during the birth process can be greatly beneficial to both mothers and babies. It is not about having an experience. It is about healthier emotional and physical outcomes for mothers and subsequently for babies as well.  Putting together a support team is not as simple as inviting a family member or friend along. There are many components to consider as this is the most intimate time to allow others to share in except for the conception of your baby.

Prior to putting together your Labor Support Team (LST):

You and your spouse/partner are generally the only persons who can speak on your and the baby’s behalf unless another individual has a medical power of attorney for the labor and postpartum time period. Learning how to be a self-advocate is an important piece of the support team puzzle.  Answering very specific questions prior to looking at who ultimately will be with you at your birth will be helpful to you in addressing specific needs, goals, philosophy, and expectations.

• What education and self study are you doing during pregnancy?
• Do you feel confident and equipped to birth your baby?
• Are you confident and at ease with your provider?
• Are you comfortable with his or her requirements and practice style?
• Are you comfortable with the policies, requirements, and protocols of your birth location?
• Do you have special circumstances or health concerns?
• When you close your eyes who do you see being the most supportive of you and your choices?
• Are you a single mother or is your spouse/partner deployed?
• What type of help does your spouse/partner or your main support person need?
• How involved does your spouse/partner or main support person need?
• What type of physical support do you need (massage, positioning help, any chronic pain or health issues to contend with?)?
• What type of emotional support do you require (affirmations, encouragement, quiet and positive, no questions asked, reminders…)?
• What type of educational/informational support do you expect to need?
• Are you comfortable discussing needs and desires with provider?
• Do you feel confident in addressing the staff at a hospital or birth center?
• Do you have a birth plan?
• Planning a natural birth?
• Planning an epidural in your birth?
• Traveling a distance to your birth location?
• Are there any specific cultural barriers or needs that ought be addressed?
• What other considerations or needs might you have?

Now that you have answered the questions, it is likely a much more clear picture why being specific about your LST is so important.  This is an opportunity to look at and personalize what is needed in labor.  It is not for anyone else to decide what it will look like, who is going to be there, and who is not going to be there.

Putting together your LST

The birth of a baby is only less intimate than the act of making the baby. Inviting anyone into the area surrounding this event can affect the process positively or negatively. Privacy, comfort, safety, and honoring the birth of a baby are a must so choosing the person(s) to take the journey with you needs to be well thought out. Some candidates for a LST are on the below list.

• Husband
• Partner
• Mother/Father (other family members)
• Friend
• Older Children
• Doula (skilled and trained labor support)
• Care Provider (OB, Midwife or Family Practice Doctor)

Many on the list are pretty obvious choice considerations. The best person(s) to have around you during labor and birth will aim to provide what you need physically, emotionally, and by way of information while supporting your decisions and desires without bringing in negativity, fear, bias against what you want, distrust for the process, anger, a sense of undermining, etc. Your support team can make or break the outcome of your labor and delivery simply by what he or she brings into your birth.  Your birth is not about any one elses satisfaction, background, needs, wants or the like. This is your birth, your baby’s birth.

The one person on the list you may or may not have heard of is the labor doula. The labor doula was born out of this need.  Essentially this is a woman of knowledge and skill in pregnancy, birth, and immediate postpartum (yes there are a few men in who are labor doulas as well) who comes alongside a pregnant woman (family) offering education, physical support and emotional support to both the mother and partner/husband/other support.  A doula does not take away from a husband or partner during the process.  Doulas are shown to decrease interventions, cesarean, epidural use, narcotics use, need for induction, and increase satisfaction, bonding, breastfeeding success, and more! For more information regarding labor doulas, click here  http://prepforbirth.com/2009/08/09/what-is-a-labor-doula-what-does-she-or-he-do/.

From the Birthing Front

Here is a sampling from women who have birthed, are pregnant or attend women in birth who answered the question “Why is having a supportive birth team important?

“…because a woman in labor is in the most vulnerable state of her life. When I was in labor I needed someone holding my hand telling me I could do it… telling me all those incredibly intense sensations were, indeed, normal. I was vulnerable, and my support team protected me and supported me as I gave birth.  “For me, feeling “safe” didn’t just mean feeling safe physically… it meant feeling emotionally safe to welcome the vulnerability that labor brings and thus to be able to let go” Lily B.

“Birth is one of the biggest events that define a woman’s life. When she is in labor her senses are heightened by the hormones going through her body. Her perception of those around her will make or break her birth experience. A trained experienced birth team knows how to keep the emotions of both professional and non professional people positive and empower the woman to birth not only her baby but a stronger more confident self into being.” Amber-joy T.

“A supportive birth team can mean the difference between a physically healthy birth and a birth that can take months to recover from. Regardless of the actual events at a woman’s birth (vaginal birth, cesarean, medicated, non-medicated, home, hosptial, birth center), a supportive birth team can also mean the difference between having a happy, rewarding, and empowering birth and a birth in which the birth is not owned by the mother emotionally. Mental health can be more important than physical health and more costly to treat down the road. Always take care of yourself emotionally.” Nora M.

“Birth is such a vulnerable and powerful experience. I remember that I had to tap into a side of myself that I had not yet known until birth. Every *vibe* from others around me affected my state of mind during the process. Without the complete support of my birth team, and husband, I would’ve when that point of surrender hit, given into the doubts and crumbled under the pressure; But becauseI did have a supportive team, I was empowered to press forward and experience the most amazing moment of my life uninhibited.” Julie W.

So now take a moment to think about who will offer you what you need and help you attain what you want in labor and delivery.  Having continuous support no matter the type of birth you want is important because you and your baby matter.  Your birth matters.

Today the cesarean rate is an alarming 31.8% (CDC 2007 preliminary data).  Only a maximum of 15%  of birthing women should be having cesarean deliveries in order to keep mortality (death) and morbidity (poor outcomes) to the healthiest levels according to the World Health Organization. With the staggering discrepancy in what should be and what is, you NEED to care about this topic.  You could have a questionable cesarean like so many others.

It is important that you the childbearing woman understand how to have the healthiest birth for you and your baby which is most often a no-to-low intervention vaginal birth.

When a cesarean occurs for a truly medical and/or life saving reason it is necessary and the benefits far outweigh the consequences for mom and baby.  The cesareans that occur for other than truly medical and/or life saving reasons are often not necessary or became necessary due to external influence that skewed the labor and delivery outcome (routine induction, epidural,  impatience by provider, mal-position of baby, staying in bed during labor, routine continuous monitoring, pushing in one position, lack of food and water during labor, routine augmentation of labor, lack of support, etc.)

Below is a list of ways to promote having a vaginal birth even if you have already had a baby this information needs to be known.

• Take the ICAN webinar on cesarean prevention.
• Interview before choosing your care provider – you are doing the hiring! Know his or her statistics.  If you do not get a clear answer, that is a RED flag.  You need individualized care. ou and your baby deserve no less.
• Interview both midwives and OB’s.
• Research your chosen birth location well.  There are other options outside of the hospital – home and birth center.
• Hire a doula who shares your philosophy and is comfortable with the type of birth you desire. Some searchable places for a doula are: www.cappa.net, www.dona.org, and www.alldoulas.com.
• Without medical reason standing in the way, labor at home into active labor if traveling to a hospital or birth center.  Well established labor upon arrival to the hospital or birth center decreases the opportunity for interventions, medications, and cesareans.
• Get educated! Take a childbirth class that promotes confidence, consumer awareness (knowing rights and responsibilities), and evidence-based practices. A “good patient” class is not what you want to take.  READ books that share positive stories and good information.  A few of the searchable sites are: www.cappa.net, www.independentchildbirth.com, www.lamaze.org, and www.ican-online.org.
• Turn off your TV – stop watching the dramatic birth shows.  They are not real.
• Use mobility in labor.
• Drink and snack in labor.
• Say NO to routine interventions – meaning interventions or medications without a true medical reason. These can include, IV with fluid running, artificial rupture of membranes, continuous monitoring, wearing of hospital gown, and vaginal exams.
• Say no the the epidural completely or at the earliest at 6 cm’s dilated.
• Push and deliver in positions other than the reclined or “C” position unless that feels good and baby is coming well that way.
• Only have those around you who will support what you need and desire in labor and birth. When you close your eyes who is there with you in your labor “cave”? Who doesn’t fit well there?
• Study yourself for what comforts, assures, and adds to your feeling of safety.
• Eat healthy and exercise during pregnancy.
• Read What Every Woman Needs to Know About Cesarean Section – http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10164
• For more information on Cesarean recovery and support, VBAC education and support, and Cesarean prevention go to www.ican-online.org.
• Bottom line – take your money and walk if you are not being listened to and treated as a partner in your care.

I have been invited to share with you an intimate and challenging (and graphic) journey of a mother from an unexpected primary cesarean, physician decided repeat cesarean and a home water birth after those two cesareans.

Before you watch it, take a deep breath and have an open mind. A box of tissues may be in order as well.

Cesarean vs. VBAC: A Dramatic Difference from Alexandra Orchard on Vimeo.

Watch how a baby is delivered in a cesarean birth and see the dramatic difference of what both the mother and baby experience in a home water birth after cesarean.

For more information on cesarean recovery, support, prevention and VBAC information go to www.ican-online.org.