Posts Tagged ‘natural birth’

So You’re In Early Labor. Now What?

Monday, April 24th, 2017

 

One night, you are awakened from slumber at the beck and call of your compressed bladder. No, wait. That’s not it. There’s a crampy tightness that feels familiar. Where have you felt that before?

Menstrual cramps! It feels crampy. Weird. You decide to get up and move to the bathroom. After a few minutes, you get back and bed and feel more cramps. Hm. Weird.

Could this be it? It could be! This is it! You’re finally in early labor!

You know this because the contractions are coming, no matter what you do. You’ve had a big glass of water. You’ve gotten up to pee. You’ve had a snack. You’re content to let the rest of your house rest while you anticipate the birth day to come.

So you’re in early labor. Now what?

You think back to what your midwife told you, and you remember that she gave you several things to do during this slow building time.

  1. Let Your Midwife Know. As soon as you know you’re definitely in labor, she’ll want to know. She or her assistant might swing by to check on you and baby, or just triage you over the phone, depending on what’s happening and your needs.
  2. Rest. This is not the time to try and “get things moving” by taking a long walk, doing nipple stim, or anything else that is supposed to speed things along. This is the time to conserve energy. If you can talk through your contractions, you can sleep through them.
  3. Eat & Drink. Whatever time your labor starts, eat normally. One good meal is often enough to sustain you through the work to come. No food is off-limits, though it’s wise to keep in mind that you may throw up, so avoiding choking hazards or harsh foods might be a good idea. Comfort foods are wholesome, nourishing, and encourage happy hormones. Also, keep drinking. Water, juices, herbal teas that you enjoy, smoothies, and broth are all great candidates. Whatever sounds good.
  4. Do Life. There is no reason to put off that quick trip to the store to get milk and bread, or going to the movies. There is no reason to go out if you didn’t plan to, but just going about your day, doing your best to ignore what’s happening. At this point, it’s really no big deal, and it helps your progress if you can be content, happy, and moving.
  5. Distract Yourself. Sometimes, especially when it’s your first baby, it’s so hard to keep your mind off your contractions. But the rule of thumb is that you must ignore them until they demand all of your attention, whether you like it or not. Conserving energy in early labor is paramount! Don’t use breathing or coping techniques from your classes yet either. They contribute to the sense of time, and can make you far more tired than you need to be. Instead, watch funny movies, go to the park, go out on a date with your partner, bake a birthday cake, start a slow cooker meal for after the birth, or call a friend to chat.

I like to tell people to “be in denial” about their labor until their labor gets all up in their face! Just take care of yourself, pretend like everything is normal, that nothing is going on, and let your body keep the secret just a little while longer. You will be shouting to the world in your own way soon enough, so save your breath. Smile. 

“To move into active labor, a woman must give up ideas of how she thought labor might be; in other words, she must surrender.” ~Elizabeth Davis in Heart & Hands

Open up to the path your labor has chosen, and surrender time.

Grace & Peace,
Tiff

Nourish Your Pregnancy

Thursday, February 16th, 2017

nutrition talk

We are so excited to welcome Dawn Franz, a Nutritional Health Coach, to chat with you about good prenatal nutrition!

Bring your partner, and enjoy a snack while you learn tips and tricks to build a healthy baby, prepare for labor and birth, and ensure a healthy recovery.

You can RSVP by emailing info@prepforbirth.com, or call 719-323-8414. The easiest way, though, is to visit our Facebook Event Page.

Hope to see you there!

Introducing…

Thursday, February 2nd, 2017

My first CAPPA student to finish her certification as a CAPPA Certified Childbirth Educator!

Meet Mariya Melby, CCCE.

I asked her to share her journey, and she graciously agreed to answer a few questions. I can’t wait to see what she is going to do, and where she is going to take her certification!

Tell me about yourself and your birth work:
“I began my career in education. I completed the Boettcher Teacher’s Program through the University of Denver, earning my MA in Curriculum and Instruction and working in underserved schools for 5 years. I knew this career path was not the right fit for me and began exploring other options. I completed a 200-hour yoga teacher training through the Samadhi Center for Yoga in Denver. I added on trainings in prenatal and postpartum yoga and began teaching while I was pregnant with my first child. I had a very unexpected birth experience that led me down the path of becoming a Certified Labor Doula through CAPPA. I began attending births and absolutely loved to support women and their partners through the process of becoming new parents. I found myself particularly drawn towards the work we would do together in our prenatal meetings, and realized that becoming a childbirth educator could meld my loves for education and birth. I attended Tiff Miller’s Childbirth Educator Training through CAPPA in Colorado Springs and recently finished the reminder of my requirements to earn the title of Certified Childbirth Educator (CCCE) through CAPPA.”

What is one piece of advice you would share with others who are certifying?
“Look through the requirements for certification and make your own timeline for finishing up each one. Even if you end up needing to readjust your plan, having one in the first place that you come back to will help to keep you motivated and on track. I suggest working right away on finding a mentor teaching for student teaching.”

What was the most challenging part of the process for you?
“For me, the most challenging part of certification was student teaching. It was a challenge to find a certified childbirth educator in my area who was regularly teaching classes and willing to have me work with her to complete my student teaching. Even though I am an experienced classroom teacher, I was nervous about stepping into someone else’s classroom. I really enjoyed my student teaching experience and once I finished that piece, felt really motivated to finish up the rest of the requirements.”

What is one thing that surprised you in your learning process?
“I am always, always learning more about birth. I receive questions that I don’t know the answers to and need to research or I will attend a birth where I see something new. And the learning has no end in sight—even the most experienced birth workers are still learning about birth as they go.”

I can’t wait to hear from more of you as you reach your certification goals with CAPPA!

Grace & Peace,

 

 

Your Job Must Be So Fun!

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2016

baby looking at title, your job must be so fun
This is the most common response I get when I share with someone what I do for a living. When I share that I’m growing into midwifery.

If all we did was snuggle babies and drink margaritas, I suppose this statement might be true.

But this job isn’t all baby snuggles, and it rarely involves even a chance at a margarita.

Fulfilling? Yes.

Rewarding? Absolutely.

Fun? Not so much.

That word, in fact, minimizes what midwives do. It reduces it to the same level of a weekend hobby. Is there joy in this work? More often than not, yes. While the joy inherent in this work is a big part of what sustains a midwife in the long haul, there is so much more to it. There is a hidden side of midwifery that many don’t see or understand, and it is this hidden side that flashes before my eyes when someone comments that my job must be “so fun.”

This is not a job anyone signs up for to have fun. This is a job we sign up for because we are compelled. It is an irrevocable call on our lives.

As Desirre says, “It’s a calling that follows you around until it catches you.” We often don’t even realize it’s our calling until one day we awake to the startling discovery that we cannot escape what we are meant to do. And what we are meant to do is to be “with woman.”

We are meant to be midwives.

Like the “witches” and wise women of old who quietly served women and their babies with dignity and a deep knowledge passed down over time. It is our inheritance, and it carries with it the weight of responsibility, accountability, and power. The calling of midwifery is inescapable for those who hear it, and insurmountable for those who only wish to.

It is “fun” for no one.

There is, however, fun within the work. Laughter and joy are bricks in the foundation, and this work could not be done sustainably without them. The joy of watching a father’s eyes light up at the first sound of that pattering heartbeat. The laughter when big sister has to have her tummy measured too, or big brother insists on helping us hold the Doppler.

Of course, there’s the ultimate culmination of joy, the crowning glory, when that slippery wet tiny human is lifted into a mother’s arms, ready to meet the great wide world. The moment heaven itself pauses to rejoice at another everyday miracle.

The arrival of a new soul on Planet Earth is no small thing. It is a great mystery and marvel, and it is midwives who have always been there, very near the heart of it all, acting as ushers and servants making way for the tiny new being and his mother to step into life together.

Fun?

No.

Miraculous, joyful, powerful, fulfilling, important? Yes.

Ultimately, this work is eternal, impacting future generations forever. And that is a weighty thing, not to be taken on for anything less than a deep and abiding call.

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany
Student Midwife

A Little Birth Poetry.

Tuesday, January 20th, 2015

Birth is amazing.

I attended three in the space of about 40 hours this weekend. Two butter births on a Saturday morning. Both filled with intense power and work, capped by peace when they were all over. The other a triumphant victory, and a step toward healing of a past rough experience.

Women are incredible.

There was the most spectacular sunrise on the way to one of the births. I have never seen one that struck my heart so deeply. The very sky seemed on fire. Too bad I was driving, and couldn’t capture it to share with you. A fitting beginning for the act of creation that is birth.

Though the baby didn’t enter the world with the dawn, the dawn greeted him anyway.

I was struck, as I watched each mama work hard to bring her baby to her arms in her own way. Each one unique. No two women labor alike. And thousands do it together everyday. What a marvelous sisterhood we share!

I was reminded, yet again, why I do this work. Why I am a doula. Why I want to be “with woman” as a midwife. This work is sacred. Beautiful. Insanely difficult. But so very worth it.

I rarely write poetry, but I hope these verses hit home. Each one represents one of the mothers I served this weekend. They’re kind of silly. Just haikus, but I had fun writing them. Enjoy.

Labor at sunrise,
Intensifying slowly.
Care, quiet, tranquil.

A hint, it’s coming.
Giant, crashing, clamoring,
“I can’t, but I did!”

Freight train rolling fast,
Can’t quite keep up, but she does.
Dad meets tiny pirate.

How did you spend your weekend?

Grace & Peace,
Tiff

All We’re Really Trying to Say

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

There is a misconception I have noticed among the general population in regards to birth professionals who advocate for the kind of birth outlined in the above photo. How surprised they are when they learn that doulas, childbirth educators, and midwives are actually all for advances in technology and care. We just desire that practice be driven by evidence, not by the shiny new toy.

Let me explain.

I think part of the misunderstanding lies in the belief that because birth professionals outside the medical profession unapologetically share what is scientifically verifiable to be the healthiest norms for mothers and babies, that we are therefore against hospitals/technology, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Speaking for many like myself, what we really desire are two things: 1) True cooperation between hospitals, doctors, and midwives, so that women and their babies get the best, individualized care, and 2) Practices based on the most scientifically sound evidence, rather than the shiniest new toy or convenience for the care provider, or any other reason than the medically verifiable health and well-being of the mother-baby dyad.

Cooperation between the medical establishment and midwifery care isn’t an either-or proposition. Advocating for normal childbirth does not equal opposition to hospitals and all they offer.

Normal birth and all that it implies is a truth with a solid foundation of evidence – nothing more, nothing less. It is not a commentary on any individual woman’s story. It is not a value judgment on the choices made by any woman. Every birth experience is valid, and has inherent value. Every birth is still a miracle. Birth is always sacred and special , no matter how the precious little ones make their appearance.

Every birth is ours, as women, to own and learn from. The planned cesarean is no less valid than the natural home birth so many birth professionals support and love.

Information shared about normal birth is what it is: statements of fact, backed up by evidence, and fueled by an undeniable passion for helping women empower themselves to make truly informed decisions regarding the care of themselves and their babies.

A passion to change the world.

To change the world through loving women and their families, and building bridges of communication between women and their chosen care provider. If we can do those two things, the rest will follow so much more easily than if we tried to force it.

To accomplish the change we are advocating for, we need to speak. Out loud. About unpleasant, but truthful subjects.

And we need to do it all through the filter of love and compassion.

I encourage you to take our words to heart if you can. If it’s too painful – speak out. Find out why it hurts so much to hear about another beautiful home birth. You matter. Your voice matters.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Tiffany

Grateful For My Birth(s) Carnival

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

I am so thankful to all of the submissions I received for this Why I am Grateful for my Birth(s) blog carnival. I have found no matter what a woman can learn something and be grateful for something in every birth experience no matter how difficult or wonderful. Enjoy these quips and please go to their blogs to read in completeness.

Tiffany Miller of Birth In Joy says in an excerpt from her post The Most Important Piece, “I am thankful that Mom believed in my ability to breastfeed my new baby, even though it hurt at first. She never told me that I had so severely damaged her nipples, as she tried to learn with no support whatsoever during my own newborn days. Nary an ounce of bitterness did she carry from that time. She knew and accepted that my path was my own, and supported me completely.” She goes on to further outline how the mentoring and support of her mother paved her way.

How grateful she is for all four natural births and her mother’s unwavering assistance. Assistance and presence she could never imagine doing without.  Just beautiful and shows how important in our lives are the ones who came before.

Kristen Oganowski of Birthing Beautiful Ideas in her post Your Births Brought Me Here writes this gorgeous, tear inspiring letter to her two children about what amazing changes they spurned in her own life, in the very life that they would come to know. Without one birth, would the other have come along the way it did?

Here is an excerpt: “When you both were born, I called myself: Graduate student (unhappily).  Teacher (happily).  Feminist (always).  Mother (timidly). Today I call myself: Doula (happily).  Birth and breastfeeding advocate (unflinchingly).  Blogger (smirkingly).  Writer (finally).  Feminist (permanently).  Mother (confidently).  Graduate student (temporarily). Your births brought me here, to this place where I am (finally) content and impassioned. All wrapped up  with a Love, Mom.

Our next post is by Sheridan Ripley of Enjoy Birth. She writes very plainly about how grateful she is for varied experiences that give her insight to what other women experience and that she is better able to support them.

Here is a peek.

  • If I had only amazing natural birth experiences would I have judged those moms who choose epidurals?
  • If I had only vaginal births would I have understood and fought so hard for VBAC moms?
  • If I only had easy times creating that nursing relationship with my boys, would I have been as supportive of my moms struggling with nursing?

Very poignant and open…..

We come to Bess Bedell of MommasMakeMilk.Com came to a place of self-awareness, peace and a fierceness to help others in her experiences. Like others her heart grew and expanded with her own knowledge and walk. A strength and confidence awoke in her to the benefit of so many coming after.

My two births birthed a new women. A mature women who has opinions, knowledge, experience and a passion in life. If I had not had my c-section I may never had given VBAC a second though. The lack of VBAC support and availability would probably never have entered my radar. My second birth showed me that success and perfection are not the same but both are wonderful and I can be happy for and embrace a mother and her experience even if it wasn’t a completely natural, completely med-free birth. Both of my experience have prepared me for the future. My future of birthing, and next time I plan on birthing at home, and my future of educating and supporting pregnant and birthing mothers.

And lastly my own blog post entry. I know I rarely speak of my own births in any detail unless it is one on one. As a community member, advocate, doula, educator, I strive NEVER to be an intervention on a woman. Today I decided to give a small window into my own experiences and why I am grateful. Please read and comment freely – Grateful For My Births.

Thank you so much to those who submitted posts. The openness of other women allow all of us to learn, grow and share as we are meant to within a healthy society. We are not there yet, but I have a hope that through this sort of connection, we are healing some brokenness.

In reading all these posts, not one is the same, not in tone or style, but every woman was changed positively in the end.

Grateful For My Births

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Focusing on Thanksgiving, I asked others to submit a “Why I am Grateful For My Birth(s)” blog post.  In the spirit of that, here is my own blog posting. Stay tuned for the Carnival of posts to be up by Thanksgiving morning.

I myself have had four varied labors and births, one of which could be considered a “normal” and natural birth experience.

From my first labor and birth, I learned that maternal ignorance no matter the intention can get you into the OR  I had to travel 45 minutes to my birth location, was only a 2 cm but nurse admitted me because she did not want me to go all the way home (she of course did not tell me that or we would have rented a hotel room nearby to labor in), I then allowed the same nurse to perform AROM at 3 cm’s because she figured it could speed things up because early labor you know is slow often for first time mothers.Walked stairs for hours but….. Now came the pitocin because my waters were broken and I was not moving fast enough. Then came horrid, blinding back labor. At some point I got a partial dose of fentanyl. Then another. Finally in transition about 20 hours in, I thought I wanted the epidural. I did not get one as I was complete and pushed for nearly four hours. Then finally after a failed vacuum assist to rotate his head and help me I ended up in a cesarean for deep transverse arrest for an acynclitic, deflexed baby head.

Baby number 2 27 months later and I was for sure in no way going to get to the hospital before I was in very well established labor. VBAC, whatever, I knew if things were okay. I would never have pitocin in labor again or have my waters broken. So I labored beautifully, with no fear, hey there was some ivory tower mama left in me still. After having contractions work up to 2 minutes apart and 90 seconds long, I decided it was time to leave. My husband ran back in the house and put a water proof pad on my seat (what a very intuitive man). On the way during the 15 minutes ride to the hospital, my water broke, I mean BROKE – kaplooey. Yep water proof crib pad saved the passenger seat if our minivan. In triage I was checked and behold I was a stretchy 9 cm’s. Everyone was so happy. A VBAC good for you mama. No saline lock. Some monitoring. Then the trouble started.  The on-call doc came in and was impatient. I pushed for about an hour (mind you I was a VBAC) and when he was low enough she cut an episiotomy and used forceps on him.  Very little conversation, my husband just said she insisted and there he was. So a natural labor and almost natural birth. I still felt great. Episiotomy was far less painful than surgery…. I got my VBAC. Though  my baby ended up in NICU overnight because of forceps. That was awful. We were both very mad after we could process it. He nursed well nonetheless. Took him home the next day.

Labor and birth number 3 is told in detail on my blog post A Woman’s Voice Birthed Into Fullness so I will not report on it here.

My 4th labor and birth had me in the place of I am arriving at the hospital very late in labor even though this time I was a 1VBA2C mama. Funky contractions of a few hours each over three nights including one trip to the hospital thinking it MUST be labor, had me sitting at 7 cm’s dilated WITHOUT being in labor. How did I know that? I asked my midwife to check me every day after the short bout of contractions. I just laughed and laughed about being in “transition” dilation wise but not being in labor. On the fourth night of when the contractions started, I said OKAY I am having this baby. I did some nipple stimulation and acupressure over an hour, next thing I know 3 minutes apart contractions then closer. We got to the hospital I was 8 cm’s, walked for a half hour. Then I was 9 cm’s and pattern was back strong. Midwife came. After some odd and funny asides. I allowed AROM baby was +1 and in good position. She promised me. PROMISED me as I glared her down that this would not cause another cesarean. Baby was in perfect position. Gulp. OK. I trusted her and knew she did have our best interest at heart. No baby did not fall out. Have I mentioned I have an android pelvis? I was completely shortly after that and pushed. He was born about 45 minutes later. That for me was such a short amount of time to push. He was in my hands and on my chest with the exception of maybe two minutes for FIVE hours post birth. FIVE. He had about a 14.5″ head and came out over an intact perineum.  I was, well, normal, everyday, usual. Yep. I basked in the no nonsense aspects of it.

I learned so much through all my labors and births. Through #1 that though I made many excellent choices in my care provider and birth location, heck we even took out of hospital independent birthing classes, that maternal ignorance and a willingness to believe no nurse would do something that could cause harm was really am ivory tower point of view that women can just have babies. I knew I could birth, but knew I needed to know even more.

Through #2 that on-call providers can be dangerous people and that I COULD birth.

With #3 my voice came into being. I turned into who I am now. Like a butterfly with the roar of a lioness.

And #4 oh my baby. I became normal, just like every other woman who had a natural labor and birth. Just another birthing woman. Not special. I really liked that title.

Yes I am grateful or I would not be the advocate, doula, educator, flag waving proponent of informed consent AND refusal, strive to help and support women in their childbearing years…. oh so much more. I am grateful because in all of this I have found my calling.

Thank you to K, L, J and D for being my sons.  Thank you to bad on-call doc, well meaning but harmful nurse, horrid nursery staff, and C.E. the midwife who believed in me and my body as much as I did.

The Best isn’t Better. Usual is where It is at.

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

There has been much ado surrounding the language of breastfeeding being normal and usual versus the best for baby and mother in great thanks to Diane Weissinger. It is so valuable to recognize that while we all desire to be the best, we often hit the normal everyday averages in life. We are comfortable reaching a goal that seems more attainable. Best or better can feel so far out of reach where average and usual seem quite in reach most of the time. None of us generally want to be below the average or usual. Thus the language of the risks of NOT breastfeeding is so vital.

I would like to see the same type of language revolving around pregnancy and birth as well.

In the overall picture here is the usual occurrence: Ovulation leads to heightened sexual desire, which leads to sexual activity, which leads to pregnancy, which leads to labor, which leads to birth, which leads to breastfeeding…..

So how do we look at language as an important part of our social fabric and belief systems surrounding this process?

Let us look at contrasting statements of what is often heard and how a positive point of view can be adapted.

Pregnancy is: a burden, an illness, an affliction, a mistake, something to be tolerated……

Pregnancy is: a gift, wonderful, amazing, part of the design, someone to grow…..

Labor is: scary, worth fearing, the unknown, unpredictable, painful, to be avoided, to be numbed from, to be medicated, to be induced, out of control, unfeminine…..

Labor is: what happens at the end of pregnancy, hard work but worth it, manageable by our own endorphins and oxytocin, an adventure, not bigger than the woman creating it, to be worked with, worth be present for, is what baby expects……..

Pushing and Birth are: terrifying, physically too difficult, only works for women who are not too small, short, skinny, big, fat, young or old, responsible for pelvic floor problems, out of control, horrible……..

Pushing and Birth are: what happens after dilation completes, to help baby prepare for breathing, bonding and feeding, sometimes pleasurable, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, able to occur in water, standing, laying down, squatting, on hands and knees, often most effective when a woman is given the opportunity to spontaneously work with her baby and body, not always responsible for pelvic floor issues, amazing, hard work, worthwhile, sets the finals hormonal shifts in motion for mother and baby……

Is it really BETTER? I say no. It is usual and normal.

  • Spontaneous labor is not better – it is the expected usual occurrence at the end of pregnancy.
  • Unmedicated labor and birth is not better – it is what the body mechanisms and baby expect to perform at normal levels.
  • Unrestricted access to movement, support and safety in response to labor progression is not better – it is the usual expectation to facilitate a normal process.
  • Spontaneous physiologic pushing is not better – it is what a woman will just do, in her way.
  • Spontaneous birth is not better – it is what a mother and baby do.
  • Keeping mother and baby together without separation is not better – it is what both the mother and baby are expecting to facilitate bonding, breastfeeding, and normal newborn health.

Denying the norms and adding in unnecessary interventions, medications and separation is creating a risky environment for mothers and babies. Thus increasing fear, worry,and even a desire to be fixed at all costs.

Perhaps even worse, an atmosphere has been created where the abnormal has become the expected norm and the normal has become the problem to be eradicated.

Bottom line, our language matters and will help shape for the positive or negative the future of birth.

What Does Pushing Feel Like? Many perspectives.

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Women often ask me what does pushing feel like. As an educator and doula it is probably one of the more challenging concepts to address.

Some of the imagery can be quite vulgar.  “Push like you are pooping.” Do women REALLY want the image of pooping out their babies?! Or the imagery puts pushing in a neat box. “The urge will overwhelm you and you cannot help it.” “You will just know.” Those do not adequately speak to what can occur. Some women get no urge to bear down until the baby is very low and engages the nerves. Others will have the urge when baby is high and dilation isn’t complete. Still other women do not get an intense urge at all regardless of pain management or natural birth.

For that matter, great rectal pressure may be felt, intensely abdominal use, incredible pelvic pressure may be experienced,  or frankly not much at all can be felt.

I believe whatever a woman’s body does is right for her birth and her baby.

Below are many quotes that others openly offered to help women everywhere have a deeper understanding of what pushing is like.

Quotes from real women

“My babies #1-4 practically fell out. #5 I was in what looked like early labor for 4 days. Midwife assistant came over, checked me, I was at 7 cm but ‘not in active labor’. I got into it quickly! Long story short I pushed, painfully, for 3.5 hours, baby had 11″ cord with a true knot. She needed to be pinked up but is almost 3 and is doing well.”

“When I was coached to push (w/ no 3..first natural birth) I was in agony. When I was left alone and did not push (w/ no 4), life was good.”

“I feel like if I can just get to the pushing phase, it will be a breeze from there.” (and it was. The whole “surrender/dilate” phase is much more challenging to me than the whole “take control/pushing” phase.)”

“Pushing was fantastic with my 2nd baby and awful with my 3rd! It was really surprising because after my 2nd birth I thought “Okay so pushing is the really fun and satisfying part! That’s when it gets EASY.” Then my third birth totally shocked me. Pushing was the most painful and difficult part of the birth. I had stayed so calm and collected… until then. Every pregnancy and birth is so different!”

“I love the way it feels to have a baby move through me and into my waiting hands.”

“The mirror really gave me focus and helped me push very effectively when I inspired by seeing a peek of baby head.”

“I *loved* pushing. I didn’t do it for very long (two contractions), but it was so great to finally get there. I was told to purple push (not in those terms – the nurse told me to hold my breath), and intellectually I knew I shouldn’t, but I tried it and it really did feel like I was more productive that way. I felt like a warrior. It was awesome.”

“Before anyone hates me for only pushing through two contractions, you should know that I’d been in labor for three days – so it all comes out in the wash ;-)”

“Pushing with my 2nd was horrible. 3+ hours of the worst pain I had experienced at that point in my life. Turns out her little fist was up by her cheek (um ouch) and her head did not mold much. My 3rd I did not push because she was precipitous and we were trying to get to the hospital. I felt like all the energy in the world was gathering and swirling at my fundus and then suddenly flowed through me carrying her with it. It was the best physical experience of my life.”

“I have heard some say that pushing feels good.. um, I personally have not experienced that and I have had clients remark the same … :p”

“Hmm…Definitely the best part of labor and delivery. For me though – never had any “urge” to push but still had baby out in 20 mins…I think I was feeling determined being a VBAC mom…still, would have been easier if I felt the need to and not just contractions. “

“Heard lots of clients say it feels good after hours of labor”

“Difficult. I had an urge to push “early” every time. Once I got to the “ring of fire” it was awesome though.  I knew I almost was there.”

“Ahhh, I’m not so fond of the pushing. Did it for 2 1/2 hours with my daughter (LOA) and though it was only about 20 minutes with my boys, they were both OP. That was, shall we say, unpleasant. I cannot relate to those who’ve told me it was such a relief!”

“My labor was surprisingly short, only 6 hours and she’s my first baby so far. I woke up in active labor and at 4 cm and I wanted to push THE WHOLE TIME! It was horrible having the nurse say I couldn’t push yet when I wanted to so badly, but once I did get to push, oh my goodness, it felt incredible. So much control and power, it felt so good to finally work to end. 3 big pushes and there she was. :)”

“Sheer, immeasurable power. Unbelievable!”

“Babies actually come out of your butt. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” One of my clients recently said that. :)”

“Birth is shockingly rectal” – Gretchen Humphries. She was totally right.”

“Pushing with my first felt like I was satisfying an urge, an uncontrollable urge. It felt almost desperate I couldn’t stop it. (kinda like having that rectal urge when you REALLY have to poop). Pushing with my second was no big deal, I followed my urges again and pushed 3x and out she came in her 10# glory. It was extremely satisfying and powerful I felt like I had just finished exercising. Amazing!”

“The ring of fire OH MY it is indeed! Though as soon as the burn started the whole are went numb almost like too hot or too cold numb and the power of the urge to push my son out was almost beyond description.  Pushing was never easy for me as I have an unusual pelvic shape.  But my last son WOW no molding and quite a large head to birth him was incredible really.  No tearing, just some abrasion.  Recovery was a snap.”

“I had at the point of delivery what was the best orgasm of my life!”

“Pushing was totally primal.  I had an incredible urge and it took over.”

“The pressure of the baby entering deep into my pelvis and vagina was wild and almost overwhelming.”

“Feeling my baby when he was partially inside and partially outside of my body was a euphoric and surreal moment. The hour of pushing was well worth it.”

Bottom line – you and your baby are unique. You work together during all parts of labor including pushing through to delivery. Be confident. Use your intuition. Follow what your body desires to do.

Questions and Answers

  1. I have had a previous episiotomy, do I need another one automatically? No you don’t.  Depending on how your scar has set and the position you push in the scar can re-open or it adhesions in the scar will need to be broken up.  I would suggest perineal massage prenatally if there are any adhesions to break them up and soften the area prior and to choose a pushing position that doesn’t put all the tension on that exact area.
  2. Is is wrong to push when I am not fully dilated? Not necessarily.  Now I think grunty smaller pushes with those contractions can be effective to complete dilation if you are in transition.  Prior to that change the position you are laboring in to change where baby is placing pressure.  Knee chest can be very effective to abate very early pushing desire.
  3. What if I poop during pushing? Some women will pass some stool and some won’t.  An open bottom is vital to pushing, so it is a normal but not always occurence.  A fantastic nurse, MW or doc will not actually wipe it away but simply cover as to not cause constriction of the sphincter muscles which can disturb the pushing progress. If it is possible to discard the stool without disrupting you, it will be done very quietly, quickly and discreetly.
  4. I am very modest, do I have to have all my “glory” showing? Absolutely not.  You can maintain good modesty all the way up to delivery.  Even then you do not need to be fully exposed.  Truthfully a home birth or birth center birth with a midwife if likely going to help you have your modesty concerns respected and honored. Really no one needs to put hands in you during pushing, needs to stretch anything, or needs to see everything either.  A midwife is trained to see by taking a quick peek or simply to know when she needs to have hands ready to receive baby and to offer external positive pressure if mom wants.
  5. Is there a “right” position to push in? There IS a right position for you, your baby and your pelvis. The only way to know is to try a variety of positions, pushing spontaneously and listening to your body.  Generally the lithotomy or semi-reclined position disallows the tail bone to move up and out to create more space. Side-lying, squatting, leaning in a mild squat, hands and knees, hands and knees with a lunge, and even McRoberts can be excellent to open a pelvis to a large degree. Pay attention and go for what feels right.