Pain’s Message

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“Labor will hurt. Probably a lot. But whether this is negative is another matter… A laboring woman can be in a great deal of pain, yet feel loved and supported and exhilarated by the creative forces flowing through her body and her ability to meet labor’s challenges.” ~ Henci Goer

Pain in general is not a good or bad thing, in and of itself.

Pain is simply a message from our body to our brain that something needs to change. It tells me when to move my hand away from a hot surface. Pain tells me to lie down and rest for awhile. It tells me to take a bath.

In labor, pain is part of that creative process moving through my body. It does more than just tell me to get moving.

It empowers me to take what control I can in an otherwise uncontrollable event; it places me squarely on the crest of each contraction wave, where I can ride it out in some measure of peace. It tells me to seek comfort – in a warm bath, in the arms of a loved one, outside in the sun, in a dimmed room with soft music, in the motion of walking, and even in the simplest relief of emptying my bladder.

Pain signals the release of huge amounts of endorphins, bringing me to the brink of ecstasy as I feel the baby slip out of my body and into my arms.

Pain experienced in loneliness or perceived isolation is excruciating. Pain experienced in an environment of peace, comfort, and perceived safety is empowering and moving. It is life-changing and educational. It is powerful, intense, and sometimes indescribable.

The pain of labor is not suffering.

In life, as well as in labor, I find that it is often only through pain that I can experience pleasure at its fullest.

The agony and the ecstasy of labor and birth often go hand-in-hand. They are experienced in the same moments. Even at the height of a contraction, there is knowledge in my mind and heart that I will soon forget my pain at the joy of my child being born into the world. In my face, one can see unbounded joy, awe, and underlying it all – the pain of motherhood that never really goes away. We carry it with us as we agonize over every mothering decision.

Motherhood and its inherent pain is a baptism unlike any other on earth.

Being immersed to a depth we did not know we had, to emerge in the clear air of a role we somehow know without being expressly taught.

Pain in labor is what teaches us, and proves to us beyond all doubt that we have what it takes. We can rise to any challenge.

“You can’t scare me. I’ve given birth!” is our rousing, unarguable cry!

The pain of labor and birth, no matter our experience of it, or how we choose to manage it, tells us in a voice of authority: “We CAN be mothers.”

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What is/was your experience with pain in your labor(s)? How did you use the various tools available to you (everything from natural methods to medication is welcome to be mentioned here) in order to meet the challenge of your labor pain? Would you change anything about how you managed your pain? Why or why not? Did you experience a painless birth?

Grace & Peace,


  1. Meg on February 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Such pain is strangely liberating. Through birth, I gained a sense of confidence that if I could experience that pain, I could do most anything (by the grace of God).
    I’m not sure what I would change the next time. I found some natural relief through water, so perhaps I would depend on that even more. I might also, honestly, have a little bit of help from some meds. Who knows. That’s a decision that is still far in the future for us.

    • faerylandmom on February 11, 2012 at 7:40 am

      What an incredible journey birth is. I hope you never feel badly that you might use pain medications next time – they are just tools. I know you are wise enough to time them so that you maximize the benefits, and lower the risks for yourself and your baby. Your choice to use them or not isn’t a moral one – it is a personal one that only YOU can judge to be right or wrong for yourself.

      I love that you’ve gained confidence. So amazing to be part of creation!

  2. Aya on May 21, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    Hope you are doing well. I have three, and I think going from 1 to 2 was the biggest adnjtsmeut, even more so than 0 to 1 and definitely more overwhelming than going from 2 to 3 (probably because by then you are just used to the insanity).