Join the #doulaparty on Twitter or follow along at DesirreAndrews.com, June 22nd 6pm PT/9pm ET to kick off summer birth work with something extra special!

I am very excited that Earth Mama Angel Baby is sponsoring this weeks live chat. EMAB has amazing products for all types of birth professionals and families.

A note from the EMAB Team:

Are you a midwife, doula, nurse or obstetrician looking for pure, safe products to comfort postpartum mamas and brand new babies? You’ve come to the right place! Earth Mama Angel Baby offers safe alternatives for your clients who are concerned with detergents, parabens, 1,4-Dioxane, artificial fragrance, dyes, preservatives, emulsifiers and other toxins. Earth Mama products are used in hospitals, even on the most fragile NICU babies, and they all rate a zero on the Skin Deep toxin database, the best rating a product can receive. Earth Mama only uses the highest-quality, certified-organic or organically grown herbs and oils for our teas, bath herbs, gentle handmade soaps, salves, lotions and massage oils.

Earth Mama now offers a Birth Pro Cart for wholesale pricing available for birth support professionals! Join Earth Mama Angel Baby on the #doulaparty chat Friday June 22 to talk about their new shopping cart plus answer any questions you may have. Earth Mama will be giving away Postpartum Bath Herbs and Monthly Comfort Tea, Mama Bottom Balm, Mama Bottom Spray, and a grand prize of their new Travel Birth & Baby Kit!

Blessing the mother ease the period at the end of pregnancy and ease the transition into postpartum.

Ideas that bless before and after birth:

• Freezer Meals
• Organizing Fresh Meals for end of pregnancy through first month post birth.
• Buy baby wearing gear for her.
• Organize a Blessingway
• Write down encouraging and affirming words in a beautiful card.
• Listen to her.
• Buy her a baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding class, etc. to her desires as a surprise.
• Organize housecleaning party for end of pregnancy and once or twice postpartum.
• If she has other children, have them over to give her a rest.
• Donate toward her doula, midwife or doctor.
• When she is postpartum, visit her and prepare a variety of snacks so she is never without food.
• Offer to run errands after the baby is born.
• Offer to give her time to shower.
• Buy her a reusable water bottle so she drinks enough fluids.
• Give her permission to phone you during odd hours after the birth if she needs support, advice.
• Offer to dog sit or take care of any pets as needed after the birth.
• Check in on her about 3 weeks after birth to see how she is doing emotionally and physically.

What other ideas do you have to add? Please leave me a comment.

A mother’s body grows a new person from a microscopic connection.

A mother’s body internally reorganizes to make room for her flourishing baby.

A mother’s body soothes and gives her baby love simply from her beating heart, sounds of her breath and how she rocks.

A mother’s body is hardwired to nourish and protect her unborn child.

A mother’s body responds to her baby’s signals of movement.

A mother’s body assists her baby in turning and adjusting.

A mother’s body answers the call of labor when baby presses start.

A mother’s body hugs and helps her baby move into birthing position.

A mother’s body gives her baby hormones for calm, alertness and stamina in later labor.

A mother’s body works to push her baby into this world earth side.

A mother’s body warms her new baby perfectly skin to skin.

A mother’s body makes human milk to feed and comfort her baby.

A mother’s body is soft and worth nestling into.

A mother’s body is strong, fierce and tender.

A mother’s body is feminine and the epitome of beauty.

A mother’s body is different than before as are you now Mother.

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Thank you!

Desirre

The below writing in my opinion is one of the most eloquent and beautiful takes on labor and birth I have read.   I am using it by permission of the author, Marcie Macari from her book She Births.   I encourage you to go to her site and see her offerings.  Inspiring and fantastic. Thank you Marcie for allowing me to bless others.

I have and will continue to use this piece as a visualization with clients and class participants.  Enjoy!

“The Passage” from She Births by Marcie Macari

The earth shook. The women gathered.

The chanting of The Women Of a Thousand Generations began,  their hands intertwined.

I breathe low, moaning deep through my body to touch the depth of sound they generate.

And for a moment I am with them.

“We’re here-with you, you are one of us-you can do it!”

One of them

I breathe.

The coals glow-mocking my strength

Embers flick their tongues tormenting my courage.

I step onto the coals-

The Women Of a Thousand Generations push closer to the embers- their faces glowing from the coals.

I keep my eyes on them, focusing on THEIR ability to push through the pain, to keep walking in spite of their fear- remembering that they made it to the other side.

I find MY courage and step again.

I feel the embers, and wince.

The Women start beating a drum.

I find their rhythm in my abdomen, and slowly move forward:

One step- look at the face.

Second step- focus on the eyes.

Third step…

I see the African dancers, rehearsing their steps as I walk my last few.

I see the circle being set-the fire at the center,  the food and festivities.

This will be the stage for my welcoming into this elite group- this Women Of a Thousand Generations.

My heart swells.

I am close to the end now, and my body starts to shake-

Spirit stronger than flesh.

I want to give up-to step on the cool grass

And off these coals.

I look for the faces, and my eyes meet theirs.

One of them smiles.

She who is With Woman, reaches out her hand

Her face is the clearest, eyes at my level.

“Listen to your body and do what it tells you” She says-no trace of concern.

The chanting changes: “Listen to your bo-dy”

In rhythm, hands are again joined, like an infinite chain.

I realize just how many have gone this way before me.

The one who smiled places her hand on the shoulder

of the One who is With Woman- with me, and I breathe,

stretching out my hand to grasp the outstretched.

I am about to cross over-

Silence comes over the Universe.

I near the end-

my body aches,

my mind is empty of everything but that last step.

Last step.

Hands grasped.

Cool grass. On my toes, cooling my feet-

my arms reach out to claim my prize-

“Reach down and take your baby.”

I hold him to me tightly, and proudly take my place in the chain.

I am now a Woman Of a Thousand Generations.

The celebration begins.

Excerpt from She Births: A Modern Woman’s Guidebook For an Ancient Rite of Passage, by Marcie Macari.

“There is more to Birth than the physical process of having a baby. Birth is a Spiritual Rite of Passage for women, offering an opportunity for profound transformation. She Births challenges each woman to consider how their Birth Choices profoundly affect not only their lives individually, but the world as a whole.”

Whenever I am asked why I am a doula, I need to stop and think for a moment.  My response every time is that as a doula I am filling the gap (along with others)  that is missing in today’s transient and autonomous society. When I respond, I am thinking of the days when girls and young women learned the ways of pregnancy to all things postpartum at the feet of their grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, and other women in their community.  What a beautiful and age old scene that is.

Then that scene brings me to my own journey in becoming a doula.  Here is my “why” story.

Living without my own mother since I was 10 years old, I yearned for the mentoring and teaching that I am called to act upon in my life’s work.   Even without my mother, I was blessed to grow up around some other women who modeled breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and natural birth for me.

I also think of the journey that brought me to being a doula for real.

I had an epiphany one day almost 25 years ago when a close friend and I were waiting for the bus to get home from work.  She described her birth – left by her partner during pregnancy, her mother refused to come since she was unwed, and she was at an overtaxed county hospital where the staff was barely in the room to support her.  She was utterly alone and scared.  My heart broke for her and her daughter. No woman should ever be alone to fend for herself under those circumstances.  EVER.  In looking back, I can say at that moment my doula heart seed was planted though it would be years before the seed came to full bloom.

Fast forward a couple of years and I had a knack for mamas and babies.  I could help a baby latch and mom grow confidence in breastfeeding.  I knew how to calm a mama when she was tired and at her wit’s end. I understood the pregnant mama and could easily encourage.  I was invited to attend a birth of a family member I was very close to.  She delivered in a freestanding birth center.  It was an amazing natural birth with very little requirement of her except to labor and birth.  An atmosphere of encouragement, freedom, and calm. I will say it was one of the most comfortable places I have ever been in my skin supporting her.  I didn’t understand the job I had done with her, but it was good.  I think I was on a birth high for weeks.  The doula seed was beginning to ferment.

I attended birth along the way for friends and other family, assisted in breastfeeding and talking through general pregnancy issues. Mind you I hadn’t had my own children, was educated and worked in fields that had nothing to do with birth.  I loved the mamas and families that I knew.  When I started having my own family, it seems the mojo went into high gear.  I was asked questions all the time about many things pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding related, no matter where the place or situation.  Even my husband began fielding calls when I wasn’t home from friends who needed baby help.  The doula seed was slowly sprouting.

When my dear youngest boy weaned himself, I began wondering OKAY now what am I going to do while maintaining being a SAHM? My sister-friend “J” found the CAPPA website and told me I needed to take the trainings and then I could really support the families in my community as an extension of what I was already doing.  Get the education she said.  I went to the site, spoke to my husband at length and took the leap.   Three trainings in 5 months.  Then I began to to seek out clients, put together curriculum, and found a local doula group to join.  The doula seed exploded into a blossom of great fragrance about me.

I ill not say the work is easy. Anything worth any value is not.  From the prenatal meeting, to the birth while looking into a mother’s eyes encouraging her down the path so many have walked before, to the early postpartum time in assisting with breastfeeding, attachment and family health, I am honored and blessed doubly.  Participating in the most intimate time possible, witnessing the transformation that so often occurs in a woman (and her huband/partner/family), and hearing that first sound of life when her baby “speaks” is beyond description.  A miracle takes place each and every time.

The doula blossom has deep roots now.  On occasion it needs some pruning, soil treatment, and large doses of sunshine as all beautiful plants need to maintain health and well-being.  Still it is very good.

Normal, natural birth is spoken of all the time in the birth world.  It is discussed on many levels from the evidence of being overwhelmingly the safest and healthiest way to birth, to the emotional aspects of privacy, safety and support,  to following the money trail of interventive birth versus natural birth and so much more in between.

I ponder and sometimes struggle with what to share with expecting families and  how to share it.  Why the struggle?  This normal, natural birth viewpoint is counter-cultural.  I, along with many peers believe in the inherent design of women and babies to work as intended.  There is lack of belief in routine intervention, non-evidence based protocols or practice style that is created around pregnancy and birth being a tragedy in waiting.

Even in trepidation, the truths must be shared and not hidden simply because most of what is seen and heard in our culture is the opposite (think as an example of the media and the dramatic voice over person on those birthing shows).  The longer I am in this field and calling of work, I believe that protecting women from the truth for whatever reason is harmful.  I participated in a Henci Goer session several years ago at a conference that set this ideal permanently within me.  She asked many questions for the participants to answer.  One question was regarding telling options to expecting families even if they are not available locally – should you or shouldn’t you?  I stood for quite a time in front of the large paper on the wall while holding the marker in my hand.  There were many NO’s on the paper in front of me and it took some courage for me to write a commanding YES! next to their responses. I had bucked the trend.  Not easy, not a bit. When all the sheets were gathered and Henci peered at them to discuss all of the responses, she overwhelmingly said we have an ethical obligation to tell it all.  Phew I was not wrong in my group of peers, but sadly most of them said no probably out of the same fear as I had in answering the questions.  That moment gave me great strength and clarity not because Henci said so, rather because I stood in my conviction and faced the fear of being apart from others in the truth.

Why is it of the utmost importance to share all?  Because no one else goes home or remains home with that baby.  The care provider, staff, doula, educator….they all go home to their own lives.  Each expecting family must be able to live with the decisions made during pregnancy, labor, and birth.  Natural birth has many benefits but it isn’t consequence or risk free, so that too must be spoken of.  Each woman must decide what she needs and can best live with as a mother, wife, partner, even as a woman in her community who will go out and share her experiences with others.

I will often tell expecting families who contact me about childbirth education classes that they will receive much more than the anatomy, physiology, comfort measures, etc. from my course.  That very likely it will challenge to the core their beliefs and value systems surrounding what they know in their own birth culture of family, friends and personal history.

I love this work.  I hope someday to be replaced by the community based education women ought get back to. If not, I along with many others will be here to keep the conversation and education moving forward.

Wow. Yet another celebrity is signing up for the O.R. (Christina Aguilera)? Say it ain’t so. Surgery over a few hours of work to benefit both mom and her baby?! Vaginal birth IS the norm. Surgery is well SURGERY which can lead to incredible risks and consequences immediately and very long term. Yes there is frustration in my voice.

COME on already, MAJOR surgery is so much riskier than normal, routine, AWESOME childbirth. AAHH but perhaps therein lies the problem, normal, routine childbirth is very tough to attain these days with all the inductions with an against label use drug (cytotec), most labors being augmented with pitocin because a woman isn’t fitting a time clock of daylight or one shift obstetrics, the planned paralysis of rampant epidural use, continuous fetal monitoring since the inductions, augmentation and epidurals makes women and babies high risk(and in essence straps said women to the bed), and then pushing a baby out while others yell at her and the woman is told to hold her breath while in a tremendously poor position choice (except the care provider can SEE), this leads to episiotomies or much more severe tearing than side-lying, squatting or hands and knees would provide or worse instrumental delivery – then to add insult to literal injury baby isn’t allowed to be on mom for some beautiful bonding moments before being weighed and more.

OK perhaps that is one reason for all the refusal to use one’s vagina for an intended purpose. The list could go on as for why maternity care and childbirth is so completely backwards in this country.

We are missing out dear women, sisters and friends. We need to reclaim what is our design, our privilege, our heritage, our right and our purpose.

Pax,

Desirre

These are quotes made up by a friend and I to cause a pause and thinking to occur. Sadly, they may sound very familiar to public opinion these days. This is meant to be a spoof, but also is a social commentary on how we as a society are giving up on the precious and magnificent work of normal labor and birth. As women, we are incredibly blessed to be the life growers and to bring life forth from our own bodies under our own power. The work of pregnancy, labor and delivery is just a glimpse into the daily work of being a mother. Motherhood like pregnancy through delivery is not always easy but at the end of the day worth it. I fear we are losing something of vast importance in our society.

This entry is biting and almost roast-like. Read with caution!

• “Not my mama’s vagina! Mine is only for sex.”
• “MY MRSA Antibiotics are so slimming..it was worth the infection I got during my cesarean!”
• “Ob’s say Vaginas are no longer for non-sexual use due to stressors destroying the capability for penis use”
• “Men everywhere question the duality of vaginal use. Should they allow women to use their vaginas for birth?”
• “Women are just saying NO to multi-purpose vaginal use”
• “My vagina is progressive and evolved – no childbirth for me!”
• “Kegels, schmegels – just get the cesarean.”
• “I thought to myself..they can’t really do vaginal tightening..but I can always have another tummy tuck!”
• “It was GREAT being able to schedule my induction…and the baby being in the NICU for a week meant that I got plenty of rest and was able to shop without interruption!”
• “I was so ready for motherhood! I had a postpartum doula, a nanny and lots of dr. bronner’s bottles! Oh, and once the baby came, the sleeper, the vibrating chair, the swing…they saved me! I never had to pick the baby up once! Just pacifier and away!”
• “No vaginal birth for me! I am a modern woman.”
• “But none of my friends are using their vaginas for birth!”

Are you thinking yet? Screaming? Yelling at me? And by the way, it is okay to laugh.

Desirre