This is the most common response I get when I share with someone what I do for a living. When I share that I’m growing into midwifery.

If all we did was snuggle babies and drink margaritas, I suppose this statement might be true.

But this job isn’t all baby snuggles, and it rarely involves even a chance at a margarita.

Fulfilling? Yes.

Rewarding? Absolutely.

Fun? Not so much.

That word, in fact, minimizes what midwives do. It reduces it to the same level of a weekend hobby. Is there joy in this work? More often than not, yes. While the joy inherent in this work is a big part of what sustains a midwife in the long haul, there is so much more to it. There is a hidden side of midwifery that many don’t see or understand, and it is this hidden side that flashes before my eyes when someone comments that my job must be “so fun.”

This is not a job anyone signs up for to have fun. This is a job we sign up for because we are compelled. It is an irrevocable call on our lives.

As Desirre says, “It’s a calling that follows you around until it catches you.” We often don’t even realize it’s our calling until one day we awake to the startling discovery that we cannot escape what we are meant to do. And what we are meant to do is to be “with woman.”

We are meant to be midwives.

Like the “witches” and wise women of old who quietly served women and their babies with dignity and a deep knowledge passed down over time. It is our inheritance, and it carries with it the weight of responsibility, accountability, and power. The calling of midwifery is inescapable for those who hear it, and insurmountable for those who only wish to.

It is “fun” for no one.

There is, however, fun within the work. Laughter and joy are bricks in the foundation, and this work could not be done sustainably without them. The joy of watching a father’s eyes light up at the first sound of that pattering heartbeat. The laughter when big sister has to have her tummy measured too, or big brother insists on helping us hold the Doppler.

Of course, there’s the ultimate culmination of joy, the crowning glory, when that slippery wet tiny human is lifted into a mother’s arms, ready to meet the great wide world. The moment heaven itself pauses to rejoice at another everyday miracle.

The arrival of a new soul on Planet Earth is no small thing. It is a great mystery and marvel, and it is midwives who have always been there, very near the heart of it all, acting as ushers and servants making way for the tiny new being and his mother to step into life together.

Fun?

No.

Miraculous, joyful, powerful, fulfilling, important? Yes.

Ultimately, this work is eternal, impacting future generations forever. And that is a weighty thing, not to be taken on for anything less than a deep and abiding call.

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany
Student Midwife

So, my 100th birth happened last week, just before midnight on the 12th.

100 births since 2008. 44 doula births. The other 56 births were as a midwifery assistant and student. Those began January 29th, 2014–my late father’s birthday. The birth of a new life, and the birth of my midwifery journey. A significant day for me. Among these are two unplanned home births, in which I discovered I have what it takes to stay calm in unexpected situations.

100 births. Not counting the ones I missed by as little as a minute. I’m not sure how many of those there are, but there aren’t very many.

There is so much I have learned since I attended my very first birth as a doula in 2008. And there is still so much I need to learn. I am delighted, honored, and sobered at the distance I have traveled. Still more so at the distance I have left to cover.

How do I do it? The same way you do your life: One step at a time, one day at a time, to the best of my ability, with the help of others who have gone before, and the ones who walk it with me.

I will not turn away.

100 Things I Have Learned in 100 Births

1. Just when you think you know birth, you are proved wrong.
2. If it could go wrong, it probably won’t.
3. But you should still keep your eyes peeled.
4. Women are truly amazing. Every one of them.
5. Babies are people too.
6. And they deserve the same human dignity and respect as their mothers.
7. Affirmations work.
8. But they look different for everyone.
9. The circumstances of birth don’t matter as much as how the mother is treated.
10. Empowered women are formidable creatures.
11. Midwifery isn’t for wimps.
12. Being on-call is stressful for my family.
13. I must be mindful of my priorities in ways many others don’t have to be.
14. It does take a village.
15. You have to choose your village wisely.
16. My village kicks arse. Especially that portion made up by my husband and children.
17. My husband and children have given me more grace than I deserve on this journey.
18. Pay yourself first.
19. You can’t control for what baby decides to do on the way out.
20. Sometimes, perineal tears happen in spite of everything you try.
21. A birth pool really is the Midwife’s Epidural.
22. This job isn’t “fun.”
23. Three o’clock in the morning midwife humor is fun, though.
24. People will text you at six in the morning to ask why the sky is blue.
25. You really have to know your “Why” for doing birth work.
26. Your family has to know and believe in your “Why” as much as you do, or it won’t work. It just won’t.
27. I want to be known as a praying midwife.
28. As a doula, my bag of tools got lighter with every birth.
29. Sometimes, my hands, my voice, or my presence were all that was needed.
30. I am enough.
31. Hard things are worth it.
32. There is nearly always a learning curve to breastfeeding, even if you’ve done it before.
33. VBAC is incredible.
34. The medical reasons for interventions are real, and should be respected.
35. The health reasons for natural, physiologic, unhindered birth are real, and should be respected.
36. It’s okay to speak the truth in love instead of just saying “Whatever you want, dearie.”
37. Healthy mom, healthy baby needs a new definition in this country.
38. A healthy baby is not all that matters.
39. How we birth matters. A lot. I didn’t realize how much until I began this work.
40. Decisions based in fear are never good decisions.
41. It’s not consent if you’re afraid to say “No.”
42. I am stronger and smarter than I thought I was.
43. But I still have a lot to learn.
44. The day I lose my sense of awe and sacredness in the birth space, I need to quit.
45. The day I think I have arrived, and have nothing more to learn, I need to quit
46. Making cesareans more humane is good.
47. Reducing the number of unnecessary cesareans is better.
48. Formula is a medicine.
49. Breast is not best, it’s normal.
50. Boobs are not for sex, though they do help it along.
51. Boobs are not fully developed until they have lactated.
52. Breakfast is always appropriate.
53. Humility is central to this work.
54. Being teachable is absolutely necessary.
55. Thinking outside the box is a skill that should be developed to its fullest.
56. Becoming a midwife is hard.
57. Like, really hard.
58. And expensive.
59. As it should be.
60. Midwifery is an artisanal skill.
61. It should never be allowed to disappear.
62. When you hire a midwife, you hire her whole tribe.
63. When you hire a midwife, you are choosing to birth local.
64. When you hire a midwife, you are choosing to be responsible for your own care.
65. Prenatal care is what happens between your appointments.
66. Nutrition matters a lot more than we ever thought.
67. Midwives have known this forever.
68. Birth is made up of strong women doing very vulnerable things.
69. Meconium happens.
70. And sometimes, it really sucks.
71. I have seen the worst, and I still want this.
72. Midwifery isn’t a career.
73. Midwifery is a calling, deep, strong, and undeniable.
74. If I weren’t studying midwifery, I would want to be a hospice nurse.
75. The end of life is very much like the beginning of life.
76. Sometimes, the thing that shouldn’t work, does.
77. You don’t always have to understand why or how something works, as long as it works.
78. Pulsatilla is awesome.
79. I love seeing a family hear their baby’s heart tones for the first time.
80. I love watching men become fathers.
81. Gentle loving touch is a big part of what’s missing from modern obstetric care.
82. I don’t notice nudity anymore.
83. Placentas are not always appropriate topics of conversation in mixed company.
84. Circumcision is a rarely justifiable elective surgery. Look it up.
85. Methods don’t work, except for a select few women.
86. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
87. Flexibility is everything.
88. Never hesitate to speak out of fear of looking a fool.
89. If the zombie apocalypse happens, I’ll still have a job.
90. Birth is much safer now because of two things:
91. Infection management.
92. Hemorrhage management.
93. Midwives know both. Really really well.
94. Knowing your clients gives you good instincts.
95. Your heart knows as much as your head, even if your head is late to the party.
96. Sometimes, the only legitimate basis for a hard call is your gut. You have to trust it.
97. Finding heart tones takes practice and patience.
98. If I know what needs to be done, and how to do it, I should not hesitate.
99. Midwifery is who you are, not what you do. You either have it or you don’t.
100. I am a midwife.

There is so much more I could add, but I wanted this to be off-the-cuff, and not over-thought. It was important to me that it be in my brain’s real-time, and not artificially cooked up to be more or better than what I actually am.  It’s just very random thoughts off the surface of my brain. Some deeper than others, but all true.

What about you? How many births have you had or attended? What have you learned about yourself or about birth through them?

Grace & Peace,
Tiff

As I was in the shower today, after two births in 24 hours–one in the hospital as a doula, the other at home as a student midwife–I was appreciating the perfect temperature of the water, the smell of my shampoo, and the utterly clean feeling I had when I stepped out onto the mat. I was positively luxuriating in my shower! I couldn’t help but compare it to the first shower I took after my babies were born. That first shower post-birth is simply divine.

This got me on a train of thought I hadn’t really contemplated before.

Midwives, doulas, and postpartum mothers share a sisterhood in more than just birth. There are five things we all love after a birth, whether it was our own or one we attended.

1: Taking off the sweaty/goopy bra.
Taking off the bra at the end of the day is magnificent enough. Imagine peeling off a sweaty, potentially goopy and wet bra! Birthing a baby is hard work, and so is attending a birth. (Not on the same level, obviously, but we often get very physical, sweaty, and wet too) Oh, the glorious freedom of a bra slipped off and tossed aside!

2: That first shower.
Letting all the mess of birth wash down the drain. The sweat of hard work. The fluids, vernix, and blood of the birth. Even some of the heightened emotions are shared. They are on different scales but are sourced in the same hormones. And yes, birth professionals tend to get a little baptized with the birth fluids too. I cannot tell you how amazing it is to get into that warm shower and just feel clean again!

3: The first meal.
Whether it’s steak and eggs, sushi, fried chicken, gyros, cheese and crackers, bananas and peanut butter, smoothies, or a fistful of Cheetos, it doesn’t matter. No food tastes as good as post-birth food.

4: The first nap.
Most births happen in the wee hours before dawn, so everyone involved loses some sleep. Combine that with a hit of high-inducing oxytocin, endorphins, and adrenaline, and you have a perfectly natural sleeping potion circulating in your blood. The first nap post-birth is the best! Even if it’s interrupted by a hungry baby, or a text from a client (we’re usually still on call), it’s still lovely to sleep. Mostly because we are in bed. It’s all about the bed. And the cool side of the pillow.

5: Seeing your kids again.
There’s something about a family coming together again after the birth of a new baby. After you’ve come home from the hospital, or your kids were brought back home from Grandma’s, being together as a family with a new member to induct is just plain special. Some of my favorite post-birth memories, when my kids were born, were introducing them to their new tiny sibling. Now, walking in the door from the latest birth, and being greeted by four sets of arms hugging me, and four voices saying “Yay! Mommy!!!” is such a blessing.

What is your favorite thing after having a baby and/or attending a birth?

Grace & Peace,
Tiffany

Click to see more posts on healthy pregancy.

It seems to be the pregnancy panacea. Having a lot of Braxton-Hicks? Drink more water.

Feeling tired? Drink more water.

Having headaches? Drink more water.

Constipated? Drink more water.

How many of us feel like we are paying our care provider to tell us to stay hydrated? In Colorado it’s doubly tough, because of the arid climate and extreme temperature changes. It feels like we have to drink twice as much as those in other areas of the country to maintain any decent level of hydration, even when we are not pregnant.

Of course, the best way to stay hydrated is to drink water. So, since we should drink more water, we don’t want to drink water. We begin to crave soda, sweet tea, and chocolate milk instead. This is because we are drawn to that which we should not have, by our very nature. Silly humans!

Still, we do get bored drinking plain water. Especially when we think our choices are between crushed or cubed iced. Hydration doesn’t have to be boring though! There are myriad ways to stay hydrated, and here are just a few–some with recipes linked–to get you started:

• Herbal teas, hot or iced. Most do not contain black or green tea, and are naturally caffeine-free, if that is a concern for you. They also come in a plethora of flavors. The fruit flavors are especially delicious iced in the summertime.
• Infused water. This is the “in” thing right now. At least it’s in for a reason–it’s delicious! Explore Pinterest for infused-water recipe overload! Like these unique combinations, or these that have an interesting twist.
• Flavored sparkling water. This works better if you make your own. That way, you can avoid sugars, artificial sweeteners, and artificial dyes. Just mix up some sparkling water with a little bit of your favorite fruit or vegetable juice. Add ice, and enjoy!
• Eating high-water fruits and vegetables. Think watermelon, cucumber, celery, and others. Of course, you can’t measure those in ounces, but every little bit helps!

“That’s great,” you might say. “But how am I supposed to get that enormous quantity of liquid into me in one day? The simplest way is to treat yourself like a toddler. Rewards. Positive consequences. Bribes. Whatever you want to call it. The simplest form of this is to make it your goal to get your water in by dinner time. Then, if you reach your goal, treat yourself. A square of chocolate, a scoop of ice cream, that movie you’ve been dying to watch, or any other treat that will help you stay on track.

Hydration is important in pregnancy, for so many reasons, but that’s another post for another day.

What are your favorite ways to stay hydrated in pregnancy? What are your least favorite?